Tuesday, December 30, 2014

Editing the thesis

Oh bother. I did not expect it to be so difficult. I'm reading parts of my work which are so incoherent, sound so "ugly" that I feel like puking. That is the chapter on the context of Singapore... and next up, I am going meet with a greater challenge... The methodology section has always been exceptionally difficult for me to justify and write... I really need help from above. I'm no full-time student. I have other work responsibilities to deal with as well. (And while I'm easily distracted, I'm not exactly a good multi-tasker.) And I'm human like all people with humanly responsibilities, like celebrating the New Year, gatherings with family, in my heart, I'm still coveting a little getaway for myself... And yes, in my heart, I'm a workaholic, but I have grown wiser than to neglect the other areas of life, which while relatively hold less appeal to me, actually could mean really more when you weigh things on an eternal scale. (I know, I'm weird. Very few people like working more than playing. But I actually prefer working.)

I guess, here I am.

This is really what Grad School is like.

I've had my moments of fun and glory, but most of the time, it's like swimming against a current.

And you know what. I think I should just pack things up in preparation for tomorrow. And pray.

This is a dire straits situation that requires help from above.

Wednesday, December 24, 2014

Christmas Submission

You know, we typically think publishing an article is harder than writing a thesis, because it's supposed to really show your scholarship.

This year, I had the taste of trying to write articles and thesis. I actually find it harder to write a thesis. Even for the 7,000 word article, I struggled to read the article in one setting in order to edit it. Can you imagine, how am I supposed to do that for a 40,000 word document? I've been working on my thesis chapter by chapter, but eventually I will need to check the whole thing for coherence.

Writing a thesis is more like writing a book, more ideas to put into in a megastructure; whereas an article is very concise and direct and you don't need to try to tell everything. Oh, but that poses a different challenge. How to write with focus is difficult as well, I guess, especially for someone like me who is easily distracted by new concepts and ideas.

I have to work on that thesis soon as I hope to get it submitted for examination in January 2015.

But I am actually so grateful that my supervisor supported me so much in writing of articles. When I was an undergraduate, that was my then supervisor's goal. He said that if I can publish before I complete my thesis, it would help me get pass the thesis examination better. But it remained a lofty and unattainable goal for me. Back then, just struggling to grasp the research I was doing, also words didn't come easily. I also didn't know back then that writing was a very labor-intensive project, requiring a lot of editing. Back then, a week before submission, I started to write. *shakes head*

I remembered my supervisor being surprised that I wrote quite well, given the really "dire straits" situation I was to rush to complete that thesis. I still remember and feel proud, because till this day, I still felt that God enabled me to write the discussion of my undergraduate thesis. Rather than feeling insulted that others thought I got someone else to write for me, I felt proud that I wrote well, because I had help from above. And I guess this has been a motto of my life. By nature, I have few strengths, but I always desire to avail my body for the use of the Lord, so that when His strength is displayed, I know who to praise and who to thank.

Saturday, December 13, 2014

Writing and writing

I love my supervisor very much.

I'm currently working on another paper. It's tough work. But I find the challenge immensely satisfying and rewarding. I know I need to put in many hours to get it done, but I anticipate doing just so when I wake up in the morning.

My supervisor asked very pertinent questions that helped me immediately see the focal point of the article, like its key selling point. Previously, I've been grappling so much with how to conceptualize and structure it. It wasn't coherent and I couldn't logically make sense of it.

This was a paper that I started writing in April, in preparation for a conference in July. And now that it's December, was still conceptually very messy, until my supervisor provided these very critical feedback.

You know, all along I had more hopes for this paper than the other one that was published? See, how wrong our judgments of ourselves can be.

But again, I want to do this with God. Hand-in-hand with God! I want to tap upon the knowledge and wisdom of a higher power. I want this to be supernatural work. :)

Tuesday, December 9, 2014

Injustice?

I know this sounds a little silly but the emotions I feel are real.

I'm reading a second edition of a book. I also bought the first edition. The first edition was written by a mentor and his mentee. The second edition, which was written after the mentor had died, was revised by the mentee, BUT, the mentor's name was removed and she became the sole author.

I feel upset because I felt the mentor wrote much better but what the mentee seems to have done was to pad up what the mentor had written, a lot of times still using similar words, I assumed his words, to obscure the message and YET she removed his name.

I am making a lot of assumptions and judgments that may not be true, but what I described is actually what I felt happened. I feel tormented, I mean conflicted, because I find that the older book was much better written, concise and clear and to the point, yet it is of an older version and I should be reading the newer one.

One of those daily struggles I face as a researcher... It's a small thing right? But it bothers me...

Tuesday, December 2, 2014

Cool Down

My draft one was not up to my expectation. It was not very coherent. But I have reached a saturation point in my mind and know that further tarrying will not help bring it forward. So I printed it out on Monday and gave it to my supervisor. It is still lacking in word count. I know it's shocking! How can it be right? Graduate students struggle with too much to say and not too little. But I think this amount is fair enough, with more thorough editing, it should reach just the right amount of 40,000. So, I'm not as long-winded as I thought. Actually I'm more often a person of few words, to be honest, especially in person. My salute to those who write books and PhD thesis. It's credible how one can keep a 100,000 over word document coherent! It takes much patience, enduring, perseverance and hard work!

So for this week, I will not touch my thesis. But I will touch it again next Monday. That will give me a 1 week cool down. So what is a cool down for a writer? What does it mean?

Distancing yourself physically from your creation allows you to disengage from it mentally. And by disengaging, you effectively separate the writing stage from the editing stage - that is, the stage in which you scrutinize and revise what you've composed. Naturally, you're always doing some editing while composing. But much of that will have been done piecemeal, without an adequate overview.
Like any break, cool-down refreshes you. Then, once refreshed, you can step back from what you've been working on to truly see it. You know what should be there, but is it really there? You know what you meant to say, but did you really say it? The perspective you gain from cooling down will help you spot and correct faults in the logic flow, trim unnecessary words, and invigorate flabby text. (p. 75)
My thesis will be due on the second week of January. That leaves me with slightly more than a month. What I learn about academic life is that we never work apart from tight deadlines. Everything I do is not done in optimal conditions, but against a backdrop of competing projects/tasks/interests/demands/commitments. It makes me appreciate academics more. Many of them produce the finest works, not in an environment of peace and ease, but under extreme pressure and stress.

Reference
Carol Rosenblum Perry, The Fine Art of Technical Writing, 2011

Monday, November 24, 2014

Story Telling Time!

Okay! I'm done with a revising of the Introduction. One problem I face is that I begin with much enthusiasm but by the time I reach the last few paragraphs of the text, I tire out and don't edit them as well. So next time I need to also start from back to front to give those back material a chance.

But now, I will look at my Literature Review so that when I do my Discussion, I will be better about to connect my findings to the wider literature.

So here is a reminder of what the literature review is all about:

Areas of inquiry within disciplines exist as ongoing conversations among authors and theorists. By way of your literature review, you join the conversation - first by listening to what is being said and then by formulating a comment designed to advance the dialogue. The literature review thus involves locating and assimilating what is already known and then entering the conversation from a critical and creative standpoint. As Torraco (2005) defines it, "The integrative literature review is a form of research that reviews, critiques, and synthesizes representative literature on a topic in an integrated way such that new frameworks and perspectives on the topic are generated" (p. 356). Ultimately, your review "tells a story" by critically analyzing the literature and arriving at a specific conclusion about it. (p. 74) Linda Dale Bloomberg and Marie Volpe in Completing your Qualitative Dissertation: A Road Map from Beginning to End (2nd ed.)

Introducing and defining the problem

... if the problem is not stated in a reasonable, understandable way, readers will have no interest in your solution. Even if the reader labors through your paper, which is unlikely if you haven't presented the problem in a meaningful way, he or she will be unimpressed with the brilliance of your solution... In the introduction you should have a "hook" to gain the reader's attention. Why did you choose that subject, and why is it important? - Robert A. Day and Barbara Gastel in How to Write and Publish a Scientific Paper (7th ed.)
So here I am. Thesis update! Yesterday I have read through once my findings section. Yippie! That means, now my weakest section is the Literature Review, Discussion and Conclusion. Today, I am planning to work on these. But before I will do so, I want to revise/edit my Introduction so that when I write the rest, they will cohere. So here I am reminding myself the purpose of the introduction. Define the problem and entice my readers to be interested in my solution! :)

Saturday, November 22, 2014

Fear and Greed

I didn't write this. It was something my colleague's boss sent to him, written by someone else. But I remembered how comforting when I first saw this two years ago, because I experienced strongly the emotions of fear and greed as a beginning writer. I have a hardcopy of it and am thinking of archiving it here so I can throw it away and save some space. (And to also share it with you. :))

So here it goes:

"I feel any writing project has two phases: 1. fear and 2. greed.

To get started in writing, you are stepping into the unknown and you are not sure if what you write is going to be good or not. So, you are fearful, and you are paralyzed by the fear. Usually the best thing to do is "just do it". Don't be a perfectionist. Write whatever comes to your mind. "There is no good writing, only good rewriting". 

Once you get started, the momentum may carry you over to phases two. You feel good about your paper and can't wait to finish. Along the way, it might be a good idea to get your students, postdoc, and colleagues to help you such as writing certain parts of the MS, so that it is not too solitary an endeavor.

Having an incremental goal and reward mechanism also helps. For example, if I write one page today, I will do something I really want to do. Or when I finish this paper, I will go to Bermuda for a nice vacation."

Tuesday, November 18, 2014

Strategies for developing your thoughts

I've never seen such an interesting way of describing the tools of the writer before. So I'm showing it here. It's from pp. 136-176.
  1. Description: Showing it
  2. Narration: Telling it
  3. Illustration: Making it specific
  4. Process Analysis: Explaining how it works
  5. Cause and Effect: Explaining why it happened
  6. Classification and Division: Putting it in its place
  7. Comparison and Contrast: Showing likeness, showing difference
  8. Definition: Establishing what a word means
Packer, N. H. and Timpane, J. (1986) Writing worth reading: A practical guide. New York: St. Martin's Press, A Bedford Book

Tuesday, November 11, 2014

Cumulative efforts

As I am working on my Findings, I also find that I have to work on my Literature Review. Only then, I can work on my Discussion. So this passage motivates me to write my Literature Review and I want to share it with you. It's also from Harry Wolcott's book but now page 76:

Another role theory plays - and could play to a greater extent - addresses a nagging shortcoming in qualitative study: our individual and collective failure to make our efforts cumulative. Every study tends to be one-of-a-kind, largely because of the fierce independence of most qualitative researchers and the limited scope of what any one individual can accomplish. A small step in this regard, in addition to a more generous spirit in recognizing the relevant work of others, might be for each of us to make better use of our own earlier studies in interpreting our later ones, to make our individual efforts cumulative over time, such as pursuing different aspects of a central issue or studying a common phenomenon from different perspectives.
I find myself doing such things as I had written the literature review. I was trying to bring together many individual studies together in a way that pursued the topic on hand differently or from a different perspective. It made doing the literature review more fun. :)

Feedback

I think I enjoy thinking about writing, sometimes more than writing itself. I am in the thick of it. I have revisited my Chapter 1 and a newly created Chapter 4 which talks about the context of Singapore. And recently, I have started revising my Chapter 5 which is findings. And now, time for a break. I read this passage in Harry Wolcott's Writing Up Qualitative Research (ed. 3 page 73):

The search for theory, like a cogent review of the literature, offers another way to link up with the prior work of others and a shorthand way to convey the gist of our interests and inquiries. This "searching" stage is where one's dissertation committee, one's faculty colleagues, even anonymous reviewers, can - but seldom do - render invaluable service. Rather than belittle the efforts of novice researchers who thrash about trying desperately to hook up with theory, those more experienced in inquiry of this kind can - and should - suggest possible leads and links. We all run the risk of getting tunnel vision when writing up our own research, failing to see the broader implications or remaining unaware of relevant work that might provide a fresh or clearer perspective. 
I like this passage because I have been the recipient of many kind feedbackers. I don't take very well to criticisms and praises. I'm like those tender reeds that break easily, though I'm put in that situation so often, I hope my skin has grown thicker. So I have been extremely blessed that people who give me feedback are always very kind. They never fail to first draw out my strengths, before showing me my weaknesses. My confirmation reviewers wrote such nice comments about my work that I hid the comments for about a year. I was so embarrassed by it. But when I took them out to read them more objectively, I found that they had given me very good directions about how to expand my work, rather than having that "tunnel vision".

I've written here a couple of times about how I broke out of that theoretical box and that mesmerization with theories. It took me one year to get out of it. But actually, early into my study, my reviewers have already pointed out that I should break out of it. As I continued my research, the part that I have wanted to distance myself most from - the context of Singapore and Asia - were what my reviewers and supervisor thought were key to my research. The more I analyze my data, the more I realized what they said were very relevant and true on hindsight.

So that was my journey. Your feedback counts. :) So invaluable to my thoughts and thinking.

Thursday, October 30, 2014

"You cannot begin writting too early"

I have written many things that would probably never see the daylight (never be published). They are in varying states of disarray. Many were written not for myself, but for others, whether for my bosses or my professors. But today, I feel that while those works did not come to fruition, the writing I did seem to be really for myself.

I can write faster and with greater ease today than I could while writing those stuff in the past. Could it be possible that those rejected works were foundations upon which my current works stand?

I'm now reading an AMAZING book called "Writing Up Qualitative Research" (3rd Edition) by Harry E. Wolcott.

"Writing is not only a great way to discover what we are thinking, it is also a way to uncover lacunae in our knowledge or our thinking. Unfortunately, that means we must be prepared to catch ourselves red-handed whenever we seem not to be thinking at all. The fact should not escape us that when the writing is not going well, our still-nebulous thoughts cannot yet be expressed in words." (p. 19)

"Writing is a way to access that personal fund of information - and misinformation." (p. 21)

Here I have shifted focus to what I am currently writing, my thesis. I have started writing again. And whenever I am unsure about something I have written... I highlight it in yellow. It sits uncomfortably there. And it forces me to return to check out my assumptions and the basis upon which I wrote those sentences and to change those parts till they fit in with what I'm saying.

About two years ago, I learned a systematic method of doing a literature review. It involved a lot of reading. A year ago, I was so immersed into this reading and trying to synthesize everything I have read into a coherent whole. I found it extremely difficult to synthesize, as my reading transverses many fields, many nations and many styles. I have since given that up. I have stopped reading. And stopped obsessing about knowing enough before I can write. Fair enough, that method was good for a start and exposed me to (almost) everything there was to patriotism. But as for today, I find my reading most strategic and effective, when I begin writing. I agree with Wolcott who says:

"Not surprisingly, I regard my most effective reading as the reading I do while I am engaged in fieldwork and/or preparing a manuscript. Writing gives purpose and focus to searching for new sources and reviewing old ones. It provides pegs on which to hang relevant ideas and a basis for deciding what to retain, what to let go." (p. 18)
Another I learned through writing of manuscripts, was that my real difficulty, while initially was in producing text, but thereafter was really in reducing text. I tend to write too much. I was forced to confront this when the editor raised this issue that there was much text to cut. That episode taught me not to develop an attachment to what I write or how I think, but to be ever read to re-structure and edit, so that what I write would be interesting and easy to understand for a reader. I learned that what I want to say must align with what others want to read. So I also agree when Wolcott says:

"The major problem in writing up descriptively oriented research is not to get but to get rid of data! With writing comes the always painful task of winnowing material to a manageable length, communicating an essence rather than compiling the bulky catalog that would provide further evidence of one's painstaking thoroughness.  The greater one's commitment to letting informants offer their own interpretation of meanings and events - the emic emphasis, as it is referred to in anthropological circles - the greater the proclivity to provide lengthy accounts that dampen the enthusiasm not only of readers but of potential publishers as well. The lengthier the study, the more costly to produce it, and, correspondingly, the greater the risk of it does not attract a wide readership."

Tuesday, October 28, 2014

Research Problem

I am now thinking about how to write my research problem. 

"Doctoral study should be concerned with a problem, justify the importance of attending to that problem, and persuade a reader that the evidence they have accumulated on the topic sheds new light on the issue. So, the essence of the doctoral dissertation is not recount or summary. It is extended argument. A dissertation that contains little argument may well struggle to achieve the stated goal of making a scholarly contribution." (p. 117)

Kamler, B. and Thomson, P. (2014) Helping doctoral students write: Pedagogies for supervision (2nd Edition) Florence, KY: Routledge

What is my problem?

"The problem indicates the need for the study. In writing up your problem statement, be sure that it refers to an important, authentic, genuine problem that we know little about, but that is significant and therefore worthy of investigation. Ask yourself: So why is this a problem? The fact that there may be little in the literature on the subject is not a problem. For every problem there has to be a worthwhile reason for the study to be conducted...
All qualitative research emerges from a perceived problem, some unsatisfactory situation, condition, or phenomenon that we want to confront. Sometimes the source of research is around a particular scholarly debate, a pressing social issue, or some workplace phenomena we want to better understand. Basically, the problem statement is the discrepancy between what we already know and what we want to know. A research problem is driven by what Booth, Colomb, and Williams (2008) state is "incomplete knowledge or flawed understanding. You solve it not by changing the world but by understanding it better" (p. 59)."

Bloomberg, L. D., & Volpe, M. Completing your qualitative dissertation: A road map from beginning to end (2 ed.). Los Angeles: SAGE Publications, Inc

Could it have been me?

"Scientists are people of very dissimilar temperaments doing different things in very different ways. Among scientists are collectors, classifiers and compulsive tidiers-up; many are detectives by temperament and many are explorers; some are artists and others artisans. There are poet-scientists and philosopher-scientists and even a few mystics. What sort of mind or temperament can all these people be supposed to have in common? Obligative scientists must be very rare, and most people who are in fact scientists could easily have been something else instead."
- Peter Medawar, The Art of the Soluble

Sounds like it would make an AWESOME book. It is, however, out-of-print. :( Okay, it will have to wait for now.

I am reading "Advice to a Young Scientist" by P. B. Medawar. I feel so honoured and cherished that he considers a social scientist, also a scientist, for "human beings are among the most prominent fauna" of the natural world, of which, Medawar explains, "it was our purpose to seek an understanding" (p. 2). He also said this about science: "The important thing is the inclination to get at the truth of matters as far as he is able and to take the steps that will make it reasonably likely he will do so (p. 3)."

"Any passage in this book that a reader may think especially apt and illuminating is that which was written for him or her; that which is well understood already will not be thought interesting and will pass by unnoticed. (p. xiv)"

I love the way he writes. It's beautiful.

Medawar, Peter. 1979. Advice to a Young Scientist. New York: Harper & Row, Publishers.

Friday, October 24, 2014

The sound of my voice

I like hearing the sound of my voice, not on audio recordings, but on paper. I recognize my voice. It's distinct from others. I have my own perspective and opinion about things and while how good they are, we don't know, but I seem quite sure about my own voice. I see that in writing. I don't think like the people whose work I am reading and making references from.

I see my voice in the scribbles on the margins of paper where I comment on the voices of other authors. I analyze what they say and compare it to what others say, and find that I am able to remove myself from what these authors are saying to make a mega-comment, a big picture comment on what is happening.

And I love doing this. :)

Tuesday, October 21, 2014

Doing a PhD

I was talking to my friend. I was just sharing that when I learned the credentials of some PhD candidates, I became intimidated at the "competition" I would be facing if I went on to pursue a PhD in graduate school. And he shared that it's not about "competition". We really don't compete against one another, as we are all interested in different things and we will all be experts in our own right in our own area of expertise. I really heaved a sigh of relief at that. Doing the PhD is going to be a personal race where we compete against ourselves, really. And there is no need to be happy if you "do better" than others or feel insecure when others "do better" than you. You really can't compare like that and you shouldn't. Each has their own race to run, own glories, own difficulties and challenges. We should not be desiring what others have but pursue our own dreams and goals.

Monday, October 13, 2014

Data Displays for Analysis

"Our experience tells us that extended, unreduced text alone is a weak and cumbersome form of display. It is hard on analysts because it is dispersed over many pages and is not easy to see as a whole. It is sequential rather than simultaneous, making it difficult to look at two or three variables at once. It is usually poorly ordered, and it can get very bulky, monotonously overloading. Comparing several extended texts carefully is very difficult.
...
The argument of this book is, You know what you display. Valid analysis requires, and is driven by, displays that are focused enough to permit a viewing of a full data set in the same location, and are arranged systematically to answer the research questions at hand.  A"full data set" does not, of course, mean the complete field notes. Rather the condensed, distilled data presented are drawn from the full range of persons, events, and processes under study...
...
Although such displays may sometimes be busy, they will never be monotonous. Most important, the chances of drawing and verifying valid conclusions are much greater than for extended text, because the display is arranged coherently to permit careful comparisons, detection of differences, noting of patterns and themes, seeing trends, and so on.
...
Good displays permit the researcher to absorb large amounts of information quickly (Cleveland, 1985). But the qualitative analyst has to handcraft appropriate data displays." (p. 91-93)

Miles, M. B., & Huberman, A. M. (1994), Qualitative data analysis Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage.

Sunday, October 12, 2014

Publishing

I was just flipping through the first two drafts of the paper that was finally published. The first one was really bad and heavily critiqued by my supervisor. The second one was poorly written, a mouthful, also heavily edited. But this was the one we sent out. That was some time in May. It was forgotten. Until July, the editor got back with the reviewers' comments. They were all extremely kind and nice in how they first praised me before they put in the criticism. But that being my first time having work critiqued by experts, I did not take too well to it. I emailed M to share how I felt. And I took a few days, even a week before I could face the feedback objectively. I struggled to not acquiesce to the comments but to maintain what I wanted to say as well. I finally got something out. And my friend who is working on his political science phd read my work and gave me very good feedback. After working on this, supervisor went through and tightened it. And I sent it out again in September. Three weeks later, my supervisor taught me to email to ask about it. And a few days later the editors replied to say it was well received by the reviewer and accepted and so happened to be in time for the next issue.

That was my publishing journey. If you asked me, I say it was a miracle, a gift from God. So many people had their hands in it to make it even possible. That God surrounded me with so many good people, I am grateful. 

Thursday, October 9, 2014

The two types of literature reviews

So there are two types of review in doing a thesis, the beginning one when you craft your proposal and the ending one when you are writing your thesis! The following is cited from Kamler and Thomas (2014): "
  • the scoping review. This review sets out to create an agenda for future research. It documents what is already known about a topic, and then focuses on the gaps, niches, disputes, blank and blind spots. It delineates key concepts, questions and theories in order to refine research question(s) and justify an approach to be taken.
  • the traditional review. This is somewhat like a scoping review, but its argument is not to create the space for a research project. It is to position a piece of research that has already been undertaken. In essence the reader gets what's-already-known, plus the newly conducted research as the contribution. The literature is used to locate the what-we-now-know-that-we-didn't-before-and-why-this-is-important. Some texts and themes from the initial scoping review are omitted, and other things are now emphasized in order to make clear the connections and continuities, similarities and differences of the new research to what's gone before. 
 ...One justifies the research to be done, the other locates the contribution in the field of completed research... The initial text has to be modified - not just because more has been read, but because the purpose and argument are different." (p.52)

Kamler, B. and Thomson, P. (2014) Helping doctoral students write: Pedagogies for supervision (2nd Edition) Florence, KY: Routledge

Writing as "physical, emotional, and aesthetic labour"

From my heart, I sometimes write snippets about writing on Facebook. But I want a better place to collect them. So I'm gonna add some here. Maybe more to come in the future. This is to remind me that writing is so much more than a technique and a product, it is also a craft and a process.

The difficulty with writing is oftentimes not that I do not have enough ideas but that I have too many, and I have to learn to pick and choose those that I can thread together into a beautiful necklace. This often involves abandoning some of my favorite beads that do not fit the theme of the necklace I'm stringing together. - May 5 2014

Writing is an art. Initially, I approach it with my own bare hands, molding and restructuring it into shape. Towards its completion, I come with a chisel, chipping off bits and pieces to reveal the sculpture. My work has a frame - the word limit. And like an artist, I have put in so much tears, sweat and blood into my work that any criticism is hard to bear. - 7 September 2014

Kamler and Thomson (2014) say that, "Writing is physical, emotional and aesthetic labour... Many scholars carry their scholarship deep in their psyche, bones and muscles. (p. 3)" I think so too. :)

Kamler, B. and Thomson, P. (2014) Helping doctoral students write: Pedagogies for supervision (2nd Edition) Florence, KY: Routledge

Tuesday, October 7, 2014

The courage of a writer

I have good news! The paper that I co-wrote with my supervisor has been accepted for publication!

But you know at this stage when the editor asked me to work on the "writing" which means things like grammar and style... it made me very uncomfortable. Grammar isn't my strength. I felt immense insecurity and sought help from friends.

My insecurities about writing surfaced as well and I was scared. I am afraid that my reader will read my work and spot all my grammatical errors. And other sort of writing and thinking errors.

I think this is the courage that is needed by the writer. The courage to say it, even if you cannot be 100% sure it is correct, even if it's wrong, to say it loud and clear and not be ashamed that you do not know some things or many things. The courage to submit your work, even when you know the work is not perfect, it cannot be perfect and never will be perfect. Because you only have who you are now to do the work, you don't have who you desire to be, who you'd be 10 years later, all the time and help and resources in the world. The courage to put yourself (how you think) out there to be criticized and to allow people to make a judgement on your work.

I find this quotation immensely encouraging at this stage where I ought to be extremely delighted about this good news, yet I feel trepidation.

"For the things we have to learn before we can do them, we learn by doing them." - Aristotle
What this means is that we must not be paralyzed to start, to continue and to complete a work; wherever we are, at whatever stage we are at, in whatever we do. If we have the idea that we must first be of a certain standard before we can start, continue and complete something, we forfeit the experience of learning through the process. Thus, we must not be afraid to make mistakes, to make many of them. Not be afraid to produce substandard work. For this is probably is the only way to master something. And everyone, excluding a few anomalies, will probably start as an amateur and perfect their art and skills along the way.

"Every artist was first an amateur." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

I also find comfort in that even established authors still spot errors in their books and still change the way they think and write by writing new editions. (I will not laugh anymore when I spot typo errors in printed books.)

Thursday, October 2, 2014

Changes within me

I started working on my Masters thesis with a brashness that I have found something so special that everyone will want to know about it. I made strong claims, too strong perhaps. My writing was harsh, as if I were trying to tell you how great my work is.

Today, as I come to write another draft of my work... I find that I have mellowed much. After having my work criticized by experts and friends, I have lost that brashness and pride. I find that I am more like an explorer now. I am more humble in my attitude. I delete the parts where I was over-confident, and replaced them with more simple and genuine words.

I can sense this change within me, because now I feel so uncomfortable with what I had written in the past. Why did I write like that? Why those lofty words and big concepts? I feel like my feet are more firmly planted on the ground now.

Tuesday, September 30, 2014

Shifting gaps

Is it me, or do we all experience this?

Depending on how I structure my literature review, I can reveal different gaps. So like a kaleidoscope, with each turn and movement, I see different gaps!

How? It's constantly shifting!

Which structure is best? Which information to privilege, which to leave out?

Friday, September 26, 2014

Re-reading articles used in the literature review

To give you an update of where I'm at doing my thesis. I have collected sufficient data. I have done preliminary analysis, enough to have written two papers that I hope can be published. However, in the process of doing those two papers, I realized that I want to reorganize the way I present my findings, which also means, I want to reanalyze my data. I have been analyzing it thematically, however, recently I realized the strength of using a case study approach is not found in identifying common themes across cases, but finding nuances and complexities within cases. However, owing to the way I have been analyzing data, I have not been able to capture all these nuances within in each. (They were good for finding cool ideas for papers though.)

But also because of this change of emphasis, I will need to change how I did my literature review. It probably means that a lot of what I have read would become less important in significance, but a few key articles would increase in significance. I am thinking of doing it this way in order to be able to rightly position my paper. Writing the papers for publication made me realized that I have been too broad and expansive in review previously and I want to narrow down and be more focused.

So the next step for me is to re-read those key articles that specifically talk about TEACHERS and patriotism. Rather than just PATRIOTISM in general. I will be better able to show the gaps this way... And next step also, to re-organize my findings section. It will be good. Currently there is too much discussion in my findings section. However if I write them case by case, I could more clearly delineate each teacher and later on discuss on findings separately in the discussion section. I believe this would tidy up things quite a lot.

It's already end September... Year ends are usually more busy for me... But my goal is still to complete my thesis within this Semester. But I am not going to kill myself over it. If really cannot, then I will extend by one more Semester, though it's not ideal because I don't need 6 months to write.

The following passage comforts me, at the thought of re-reading my articles to write my literature review...
...remember that in qualitative inquiry reviewing literature is an ongoing process that cannot be completed before data collection and analysis. As you reflect upon the data you collect, you will realize the need to review previously unexamined literature of both substantive and theoretical nature...Regard reviewing literature in interactive terms. You can learn different things from the work of others depending on what you already have learned and what you need to know. You may find yourself both dismayed and pleased to benefit later from material read earlier but overlooked because you lacked the experience to recognize it as beneficial. (p. 32)

Glesne, C. 2011. Becoming qualitative researchers: An introduction. Boston, MA: Pearson.

Thursday, September 25, 2014

Thinking in absolutes/Over-reliance on theory

I have been sharing my work with another scholar, a PHD student, who is my writing partner. She sees and thinks differently from me and is very sharp, always identifying incoherence in my work. Recently, she shared her observation that I often think in absolutes, it is either this or that, but I do not realized the nuance and complexity about my cases that my teachers can fall somewhere between the two extremes. This was similarly raised during my confirmation exercise last December. My examiners asked me why I saw "blind patriotism" and "constructive patriotism" as two extremes. Couldn't they be on a continuum?

The more I grapple with this, the more I realized the roots of my dichotomous thinking. When I first read about scholars' theories about the two types of patriotism, I was floored! I was so excited as I found theories that I can adopt into my study. But I forgot that the tradition from which these scholars were were from the positivist tradition and quantitative researchers. Nuances did not captivate them, they wanted a way to pigeon-hole people into two groups such that they can easily explained why some people were one way and other people another way. Subsequently, their theories became popular and replicated and theorized by others, yet... people have rarely questioned the limitations of dichotimizing people into just two groups!

What happened to me was that I was "being in the grip" of an existing theory rather than "having a grip" of this theory (p. 61). Rather than using the theory to help me frame my inquiry in a certain way to reflect my aims, I was trying to support someone else's agenda. Why should I be supporting these theorists' agenda? Shouldn't my research be adding on to knowledge, rather than simply reinforcing existing knowledge, even though reinforcing knowledge is not a bad thing in itself. It is important "to distinguish between ideas that were moving [my] inquiry forward and those that, however intellectually compelling, were causing [me] to spin [my wheels]." (p. 61)

This is how Schram (2006) puts it:
...what you should avoid is the tight embrace of theory as a singular preoccupation in your work. Imposing a well-established theory on your developing inquiry may set you up with a neat and satisfying framework for your study, but it may also prematurely shut down avenues of meaningful questioning or prevent you from seeing events and relationships that don't fit the theory...theory can provide perspective and suggest pattern, but it need not define what you can see.
Schram does not deny "the practical ways in which theory can contribute" to our work though, including:
  1. Offering us a way to connect our work to some larger issue or body of knowledge by inviting us to consider classes of events rather than single instances.
  2. Giving us a critical perspective to criticize prior work.
  3. Enabling us to not study everything by narrowing our decisions down "to attend to some things but not others in the course" of our inquiry (p. 60).
Schram, Thomas H. 2006. Conceptualizing and proposing qualitative research. 2 ed. Upper Saddle River, New Jersey and Columbus, Ohio: Pearson, Merrill Prentice Hall.

Wednesday, September 24, 2014

What writing a thesis is like...

Putting a book together is interesting and exhilarating. It is sufficiently difficult and complex that it engages all your intelligence. It is life at its most free. Your freedom as a writer is not freedom of expression in the sense of wild blurting; you may not let rip. It is life at its most free, if you are fortunate enough to be able to try it, because you select your materials, invest your task, and pace yourself. In the democracies, you may even write and publish anything you please about any governments or institutions, even if what you write is demonstrably false. The obverse of this freedom, of course, is that your work is so meaningless, so fully for yourself alone, and so worthless to the world, that no one except you cares whether you do it well, or ever. You are free to make several thousand close judgment calls a day. Your freedom is a by-product of your days' triviality. - Annie Dillard, The Writing Life, page 11
 Annie Dillard puts it so well. It is "interesting and exhilarating", "engages all your intelligence" and "life at its most free" yet not that free because we want to produce something for the benefit of not just the writer, but all for his or her audience. :)

Tuesday, September 23, 2014

An encouragement to write a thesis rather than many unrelated essays

"It makes more sense to write one big book - a novel or nonfiction narrative - than to write many stories or essays. Into a long, ambitious project you can fit or pour all you possess and learn. A project that takes five years will accumulate those years' inventions and richnesses. Much of those years' reading will feed the work." (p. 71)

- The Writing Life, Annie Dillard, pg. 71

Monday, September 22, 2014

Throwing away the beginning of a work

"It is the beginning of a work that the writer throws away... In those early pages and chapters anyone may (p. 5) find bold leaps to nowhere, read the brave beginnings of dropped themes, hear a tone since abandoned, discover blind alleys, track red herrings, and laboriously learn a setting now false... Sometimes the writer leaves his early chapters in place from gratitude; he cannot contemplate them or read them without feeling again the blessed relief that exalted him when the words first appeared - relief that he was writing anything at all. That beginning served to get him where he was going, after all; surely the reader needs it, too, as groundwork. But no.

Every year the aspiring photographer bought a stack of his best prints to an old, honored photographer, seeking his judgment. Every year the old man studied the prints and painstakingly ordered them into two piles, bad and good. Every year the old man moved a certain landscape print into the bad stack. At length he turned to the young man: "You submit this same landscape every year, and every year I put it on the bad stack. Why do you like it so much?" The young photographer said, "Because I had to climb a mountain to get it." (p. 6)
...
How many books do we read from which the writer lacked courage to tie off the umbilical cord? How many gifts do we open from which the writer neglected to remove the price tag? Is it pertinent, is it courteous, for us to learn what it cost the writer personally? (p. 7))"

Annie Dillard, The Writing Life, 1990

Monday, September 15, 2014

The means to the end

One factor hindering research is the overemphasis on the end product rather than the process. This sounds very cliche but I noticed I put less attention and care on the quality of thinking and decisions I make in the research when my concern is merely on completing a task. Because when I focus on completing it, I somehow think within me that the means does not matter, so long I can produce the end product.

But such a way of thinking is so detrimental to the research process, because what readers and scholars will question is often not merely the end product but how you got there. Everything from the sources you referred to the methodological method you chose will be scrutinized, even if your end product is nice, they will ask if it's credible and reliable.

So I'm going back to the basics. I am picking up Glaser and Strauss's book to learn what exactly is "Grounded Theory". I want to use this method to analyze my data and I want to do it rightly so.

Courage in research

"Courage utterly opposes the bold hope that this is such fine stuff the work needs it, or the world. Courage, exhausted, stands on bare reality: this writing weakens the work. You must demolish the work and start over. You can save some of the sentences, like bricks. It will be a miracle if you can save some of the paragraphs, no matter how excellent in themselves or hard-won. You can waste a year worrying about it, or you can get it over with now." - Annie Dillard, The Writing Life, page 4.

Today, I am going back to the classroom. I'm going to test some of the hypothesis that I have. I am willing to allow the teacher to change my mind of how I see him. I am willing to rewrite my thesis to make it more "truthful" and "thorough" upon new evidence. :)

Research is also courage. When you've been thinking about something the whole day but you have no solution and you have to abandon the process for another day or another time and leave it hanging there, because there are other things to do and worry about. It's letting go. Letting go takes courage.

Friday, September 12, 2014

Reflections on academic life

I am one of those you might say is a late bloomer. I am looking at some of the ecological research articles I have printed out and read as an undergraduate student in university. And I must honestly say that back then, I didn't really get what scholarship was about. I did not really know how to use research papers or knew what was primary research. I also did not like reading the textbook, which is a collection and synthesis of much the research done on that topic so far. I did not understand all these back then, what was research about. I think some of my friends got it very quickly. They were doing research at a young age and having fun at it.

But for me... It's only now. I only started understanding what scholarship and academia is about now. And that's 5 years after I obtained my undergraduate degree. I did not know what I was doing. Bombarded by what other scientists have found, I did not know that there is so much out there in the world that we do not yet know. I wish I had got started on this earlier. I could have been a true botanist or biologist have I realized what research was about back then. (I was perhaps too touch and go to delve deep into something. I had one foot in biology, but another in architecture and urban planning. Actually I was very fascinated by human geography too. I liked being in the university because it exposed me to so much knowledge about the things that I love.)

It's only now when I'm doing educational research that I learned this. :)

That's life isn't it.

And I also learned something else that I did not know in my undergraduate days. You become familiar with a set of literature, a group of scholars who are active in your field. I took 3 years to become somewhat familiar with the famous educators in citizenship education. I have left the biology scene for a good 5 years and I really no longer have any idea who is up and coming in that field anymore. (I remembered my professor once commenting that there was this fig researcher who suddenly vanished from the scene and he did not know why. I was fascinated by that. You know biologists' job can be harrowing at times in the wilderness. I imagined  him losing his footing while scaling mountains and plummeting down or kidnapped by cannibals in the jungle. But I soon found out that he changed line from a researcher to a wildlife photographer. Imagine that!) And these people in citizenship education have become my 'friends'. I listen to what they say and I respond to them and they respond back to me. Many of them I have not met, but there's this relationship that has been developed from reading what they write and writing in response to that. It's actually going to be hard for me to start afresh in another field. I like these people. :)

I'm thinking of throwing these set of papers away... It also means there's no turning back symbolically in one sense.

Thursday, September 11, 2014

Being an editor

Today, I will change my role from writer to editor. I have a piece of work that I want to see published. As a writer, I write and cannot look at my work objectively. Today, I will distance myself from my work and look at it as an editor. I will make editorial considerations. Will a reader understand what I am saying. Look, they have not done the research I have, they have absolutely no idea of the thoughts behind my words. All they have are my words.

Today, I am an editor.

Tuesday, September 9, 2014

Writing the thesis

My supervisor and I recently worked on an article for a journal. It was the first time my writing and thinking was scrutinized. My pride was wounded and it hurt. But on hindsight, I am so grateful and thankful. Because those comments helped me to think clearer. It helped me to make certain decisions. It focused my thoughts. It helped situate me amongst my audience, reminding me that people who read what I write, are going to question it and going to dialogue with it. Therefore I must write with this in mind. My love goes out to the editor of the journal and the two reviewers.

It also made me desire to write one more, rather than work on the thesis. But I think they will all have to go hand in hand, together with my work work. Yes, I have to do this multitasking, at least for the next 4 months.

And I need to resume thesis writing! I am planning to wake up early to use my clearest moments to write. I read this in a book by Max Lucado (He still moves stones) yesterday in the acknowledgement section:

"You are about to entrust me with your most valuable asset - your time. I pledge to be a good steward. Though writing a book can be a like desert journey, reading a book shouldn't be. It should be a pause at the oasis. I hope it is.
Drink deeply."

This will be my manifesto. My goal is to do the difficult work of thinking and writing, such that you, my audience, will have many points of enlightenment, many points of joy with ease, when reading what I have wrote. To this end, I will strive towards. I will edit as many times as required and allowed according to my schedule, such that you have the most value for time when you read my thesis and if I do write another article, that too.

Saturday, September 6, 2014

Crooked Lines

The advantage of being a slow learner is that I notice when I learn.

When I was a young writer, I struggled a lot more with the basics, such as dos and donts, such as figuring how to do citations, whether a statement required one at all.

Today, I am worried more about what I want to say and whether I can bring it across, rather than am I doing it right.

Another thing I noticed is that because of limitations of the mind, there are times when no matter how much you try to write something, it does not come out. The funny thing, is when leave your work for some time, read more literature, both related and unrelated, and go and experience more things, talk to people, ask experts, or even not touch it for a few months if you have the guts and lack of option, and when you return to your work... Something amazing has happened in your mind. You have reconceputalized that thing you are writing without even knowing it! And you see the flaws of your previous work and you have ideas for your new one.

There have been countless times when I got ideas for my work from unrelated Christian literature or listening to Ravi Zacharias podcasts. I don't know how it works, but when you're seeking something, God has a way of bringing it to you.

Writing is therefore always an act of faith for me. It is something spiritual, because it's inspired.

God has collected my tears and turn them into joy.

Monday, September 1, 2014

Warming Up The Reader

 Keep It Simple Up Front

"Do not give the reader too much complex and/or detailed information too soon. The writer is familiar with the material he or she is presenting and often forgets that the reader is not. Start where the reader is, not where you are. Be simple and direct in the first sections of a manuscript, laying the necessary groundwork for the reader to understand the more complex and detailed arguments and information later. If you want the very sophisticated reader to appreciate your knowledge and understanding of complex matters, reserve such information for later. You also might consider footnotes or appendices for such material. Keep the manuscript moving." (p. 212)

Bogdan, R. C., & Biklen, S. K. (2007), Qualitative research for education: An introduction to theories and methods, Boston: Pearson Education.

A reminder to myself as I read and re-draft the introduction chapter...

Monday, August 25, 2014

How to write a thesis

"Give special attention to the introduction in your thesis for two reasons. First, for your own benefit, you need to clarify what problem you attacked, how and why you chose that problem, how you attacked it, and what you learned during your studies. The rest of the thesis should then flow easily and logically from the introduction. Second, first impressions are important, and you would not want to lose your readers in a cloud of obfuscation right at the outset." (p. 229)

"Be prepared to need more time than expected to put you thesis in final form. Both in terms of the quality of the product and in terms of learning obtained that can aid in your future writing, the time is likely to be well spent... Prepare your thesis carefully, and use the experience as a chance to refine your writing skills. The resulting document and abilities will then serve you well." (p. 231)

I am trying to write a journal article from part of my Masters thesis. And found it extremely difficult. I had to drop much of the multifaceted structure to make it become directed and focused in a single direction. And also to try to find things that interest readers. It was not sufficient that I found it interesting myself. :(

"People sometimes speak of "publishing a thesis." However, theses themselves are rarely, if ever, publishable. One reason is that theses commonly are intended partly to show that the graduate student has amassed considerable knowledge and so tend to contain much material that helps demonstrate scholarship but would not interest readers. Extracting one or more publications from a thesis generally entails considerable trimming and condensation. More specifically, writing one or more scientific papers based on a thesis requires determining what in a thesis is new and of interest to others and then presenting it in appropriate format an at an appropriate level of detail... making the manuscript more readable, cohesive, and engaging." (p. 231-232)

No wonder I enjoy reading journal articles so much more than thesis. And even then I struggle to read journal articles. I sometimes do wonder whether I want to continue for long in this path of scholarship and whether it's the right one for me.

Day, R. A. & Gastel, B. How to write and publish a scientific paper. 7th ed. Santa Barbara, CA: Greenwood

Sunday, August 17, 2014

Gratitude

God has gifted some people extraordinarily - not just with talents, but with kindness and humility.

I have been struggling to write a journal article. I am firstly confused conceptually and secondly confused methodologically.

My friend kindly went through my article with me and helped water those seeds of ideas within my vague sentences.

My gratitude to him for his kind service unto me.

For light has entered my darkness and understanding overcame my confusion.

Sunday, July 6, 2014

Visual images for oral presentations

I realized that I am a very visual person... I used to think I was more a verbal person because I like reading but now I think I'm more visual than verbal, because I am more creative with images than with words.

I told you I struggled to do that presentation, to even start making the powerpoint slides... But you know what prodded me on? It was the process of searching for images on istockphoto and purchasing them and using them to frame my presentation. As I picked the images, I felt what I wanted to say!

The images evoked the things I wanted to express. I don't think many people are like me. I noticed many people use images as an afterthought, rather than using it to drive the process. But images are so integral to who I am and what I want to say.

Oral Presentations

I will need to present my conference paper: Critical patriotism in Singapore: An exploration of two teachers' understandings of patriotism and how they teach social studies at the citizED conference in Birmingham on the 17th of July. I wrote the paper in May but am having some inertia presenting for the presentation now. So I scheduled to first have a trial run before fellow graduate students and colleagues on the 9th of July. That's in 2 days. So now I must prepare for that. I'm referring to this book called "A Short Guide To Writing About Social Science" by Lee Cuba to hep myself with preparations.

"Your audience is there to learn something; your task is to education, not to impress. It is often best to assume that your audience requires background information rather than leaving them possibly adrift." (p. 155)

"Whenever possible employ some sort of interaction, questions, or informal votes, for example, between you and the audience to give you hints of their interests and make your talk even more personal."

"Selecting examples that are familiar to your audience does not exclude the possibility that your talk may elicit a response of "I hadn't thought of it in those terms before." On the contrary, ironies or counterintuitive interpretations initially unanticipated by the audience are often the major strengths of a paper or presentation. Relevant examples lay the foundation for these surprise endings." (p. 156)

"First, good talks usually make fewer points - and they make them with more elaborate illustrations of each point - than papers make... Don't hesitate to purge such extraneous material; you will either have enough remaining material for the talk or you can add material (e.g., definitions of concepts with which your audience may not be familiar or extra examples to illustrate an important point) not included in your paper." (p. 158)

"Introductions and the rest of the presentation follow a maxim handed down to countless students of public speaking: "Tell 'em what you're going to tell 'em, tell 'em, then tell 'em what you told them." Such an elaboration of the major points of your thesis might be tiresomely repetitive in a piece of writing, but it is imperative when your audience can look only to you for direction. Reiterating the major points of your talk helps your audience grasp what you consider to be the heart of your presentation.." (p. 159)

"Be conversational... Oral presentations, however, have to be caught on the wing, so you should avoid complicated language, concepts, and results that need a lot of explanation. Try to use language that can be easily grasped the first time around. Don't hesitate to use first-person pronouns. In searching for models of effective presentations, think about what you liked or disliked about talks or class lectures you have heard. Consider the idea of "teaching by delight" and occasionally incorporate humor and vibrant examples, anything to stimulate your group. There is always a balance between indulging the audience and recounting complicated ideas; it is your job to find that key point." (p. 160)

"Above all, make sure you know your subject. Again, practice your talk at least two or three times before you deliver it formally. Try giving it without your notes. Anticipate questions and weaknesses in what you are reporting. And remember, in just a few minutes, it will be all over. One way I reduce anxiety is to have the courage of my convictions - I believe in what I have to say and that I am worth a listen!" (p. 161)

"Although you should know the major points you will raise in your presentation, try to adapt your delivery to the audiences reaction. Watch what they are doing as you speak. Look directly at the faces of audience members.
Do they nod approvingly at an observation you just made? (Elaborate on this point.)
Do they look confused? (Clarify your point, or ask for a question.)
Do they appear to be falling asleep? (Consider cutting short your discussion of the point.)
Fine-tuning your presentation in ways such as these requires that you know your material well." (p. 161)

"Make sure your listeners know exactly where you are in your presentation at any given moment. Begin by giving a direct, summary statement of your conclusion, and follow it with an outline of the issues you will discuss to support this conclusion. About two-thirds of the way through, it may be appropriate to say something like, "I want to devote the remaining few minutes to.." As you near the end of your talk, let your audience know you are about to end - for example, by saying, "In closing, I would like to make two broad observations about these data." (p. 162)

Monday, June 30, 2014

Eureka!

Everyone who is good got there by perseverance and hard work.

It is at once so humbling and so liberating to find out.

Really, I guess when we dig into stories of successful people, we probably won't hear stories of "get rich quick" or "learn how to write in 40 days" or "short cut to doing great work" but we probably will hear stories of pain, sweat and tears.

Wednesday, June 25, 2014

Update

One lesson I learned from my undergraduate studies is that if I have an opportunity to take more modules, I should do so and not worry so much about grades, but worry about learning.

So I was pretty sad, when I was not accepted to do a module as it was too specialized for me.

But it also has pushed me forward to complete my thesis ahead of schedule. I am hoping to finish it by this Semester rather than next as was my original plan. Because I think it's time to move on.

It was a blow to my heart, but I will learn to surrender my desires to God.

Right now, I am doing some analysis. I feel like an architect? I lay the plan before me and I am making markings and shifting texts around. It is fun!

Thursday, June 19, 2014

Restlessness

There is one situation where I find it almost impossible to do any writing. That's when I'm restless. The heart that cannot be satisfied refuses to be still enough for any thoughts to pass through with clarity. Every thought is lost and muddled up. 

Monday, June 16, 2014

The hidden curriculum

I'm not sure if I gave the right title.

But one thing about doing a thesis is that you don't see or know what happens behind the scenes?

For example, I spend a lot of time locating materials and photocopying/scanning them. I have bought second hand books from the USA and have them shipped to another address before receiving it here in Singapore. This is the hidden cost as well. Knowledge cost not only time but also money. I actually do think that many people don't further their studies because it's so costly in terms of both time and money.

One more thing I would like to do more of is to invest time in helping other graduate students. And another that I am contemplating is to do another module, though technically I don't need anymore credits. Because I'm just thinking what next. In my heart, I desire to be a historian, but my thesis is more practitioner, educational type. And I'm thinking, I'm trained as a scientist, how will I get my training as a historian? Can I do modules meant for history students?

Tuesday, June 10, 2014

Noblesse Oblige

Something suddenly pulled my heart string and I have to write about it.

I suddenly saw the very close link between community service and elitism. The teachers in this particular school so STRESSED the idea of "noblesse oblige" (I just learned this term today). I felt it so strongly. In fact, I suspect that in a non-elite school, this factor may be downplayed. But the focus is more so on academics, in terms of what the teachers stressed.

People always talk bad about elitism and complain that non-elites don't have as much opportunities as elites... But you know, the elites have a greater burden to serve and be "slaves" to the rest of the population. We envy them, because we think of people who abuse their power and have unlimited riches, but if we ever do get there, we will realize the mandate of the elite is not merely to lead servants but more so to be the slaves of servants.

Sunday, June 8, 2014

Analyzing Data and Reporting Findings

This week I'm going to spend doing this section of my thesis. I have roughly composed a sketchy draft of chapter 1, 2 and 3. And knowing that I often find 4, 5 and 6 the hardest to write, I think I shall not delay but move onto chapter 4 this week. Somewhat excited (thank God!).

"When you reach this point in the research process, it is essential to keep an open mind, remembering that qualitative research is all about discovery. You need to look carefully at all your data, seeking to uncover important insights regarding the phenomenon that you are researching. These are your "findings." The procedures you use to accomplish this needs to be well thought out, explicitly documented, and directly connected to your research questions. Subsequently, in the following chapter, "Analyzing and Interpreting Findings," you will synthesize all your data sources and insights, creating an interpretation that is holistic and integrated.

There is often confusion around the idea of data analysis in qualitative research and what it really entails. Qualitative data analysis is the process of bringing order, structure, and meaning to the masses of data collected. Broadly speaking, qualitative data analysis is the researcher's attempt to summarize all the collected data in a dependable and accurate manner. The process is based on induction: The researcher starts with a large set of data and seeks to progressively narrow them into smaller important groups of key data. There are no predefined variables to focus analysis as there are in quantitative research. Qualitative data analysis requires the researcher to be patient and reflective in a process that strives to make sense of multiple data sources. The analytic procedure falls essentially into the following sequential phases: organizing the data, generating categories, identifying patterns and themes, and coding the data." (p. 135)

Bloomberg, L. D., & Volpe, M. Completing your qualitative dissertation: A road map from beginning to end (2 ed.). Los Angeles: SAGE Publications, Inc.

A sudden realization

I just realized something that is not too good.

I realized I have been more attracted to research from the USA and Hong Kong and less to research from China, Russia and Europe.

And this has somewhat skewed my ideas and conceptions.

It's strange... But I can see a few reasons for why this has happened.

1. USA and Hong Kong are of relatively closer mental proximity to me. I have been to USA and Hong Kong. I know you might think this has no link to why I showed preference to works from these places. But it has for me. After I returned from a one day trip to Hong Kong, I sensed the sights and sounds and spirit of Hong Kong and was really inspired to write a piece of work for my boss. Having been to USA, I kinda like that country as well. And this explains why since I knew I would be visiting Europe for the first time in July, I started becoming interested to read articles on European nations.

2. I am more familiar with the democratic systems of USA and Hong Kong. So I find it easier to understand papers from USA and Hong Kong. I think I revealed this before that I struggle to read articles on Russia and actually China as well. With their long histories that scholars often have to explain the context first before getting to the meat of the study... It has caused some intimidation and reluctance to read these articles.

I feel kinda sad that I have placed such great spotlight on USA and Hong Kong and so little on others. Okay.

3. There really are more studies from these places than others, but that doesn't mean I should neglect the few from the latter that do exist.

Thursday, June 5, 2014

Swimming Pool

I wanted to add one more point. Eventually you reach a point when you exhaust the available literature. And whatever new information you find seems to fit into the existing framework you have created. And that part is pretty fun. :)

You remember when I first started out, I felt I was jumping into an ocean and the literature was an expanse so wide I couldn't fathom? The more I remained in this, the smaller the ocean appears. You start seeing people repeating similar arguments or raising similar issues. It starts getting the feel of "there's nothing new under the sun".

It feels more like a swimming pool now. :)

The secret to writing a thesis

Gosh. I think I discovered a secret! About ten months ago, as I was writing my research proposal, I got a bit stuck when I was deciding what to include in the key terms that have to be defined. I was also pretty stuck at the literature review section, having to guess what I needed to include there based on what's available in the literature and what my findings would reveal.

But now... After having worked through my ideas through writing new literature reviews, writing articles that form part of my study...

As I am now writing the new "Introduction" section for my thesis, I realized I have a clearer idea what terms I need and do not need to define. I realized that I'm not interested in the concepts of nationalism, chauvinism and that I could collapse a few terms into one overarching term. For example, rather than define blind, authoritarian and loyal patriotism as three separate terms with their nuances, I decided to draw upon the broad similarities of these three terms and named them under one term - loyal patriotism.

As I am now writing the new "Literature Review" section, I have dropped most of the things included in the initial literature review. But now I know I clearly have three sections, related to my three new research questions.  And yes! I finally knew what my boss meant by "the research questions would change." Because mine have! They have increased in complexity as I realized that I could answer higher order questions and not just basic ones with my data.

So the secret is that... Sometimes you just need to go ahead with the research even when you are unclear about things and don't know where it leads. Because, these answers would come up to you along the journey. If you allow your fears of the unknown and of uncertainties to stop you from progressing forward, you might hinder all the accidental discoveries that come along the way and which would lead you to the destination! :)

So friends, don't be afraid, just move ahead!

Monday, June 2, 2014

A true myth

I heave a sigh of relief. I was planning to charge ahead with my thesis writing. But felt inspired to catch up on my reading. I actually have books lying on my shelf that I have accumulated and have not had the time to read. Look at what I stumbled upon!

"This is a book of history, but it is a particular kind of history: mythical history or, putting it more precisely, this history of a myth. I use the term myth reluctantly, since in popular usage it usually means a falsehood or a fairy tale. This is not what I mean by it. A myth, as I understand it, is a kind of map, a schematic depiction of what is "out there" - a reality which, because of its infinite complexity, would not otherwise be accessible. Can a map depict every feature of the countryside, every rock and rill, every small mound and depression? No, nor should it. A map is meant to serve the practical end of getting from here to there. If a map attempted to reproduce the whole "booming, buzzing confusion" of reality, it would negate its purpose; we would be lost in a wilderness. Applied to the history of a people, then, a myth is a story, which by telling about a people's origins gives meaning to their present situation and illuminates a path to the future. In telling this story it highlight certain historical events, gives others less prominence, and omits some altogether as irrelevant. In other words, editorial judgments are made in the telling of the story. The judgments may be disputed or criticized, but they have to be made; the alternative is chaos, incoherence.

This does not mean that all myths are equal. There are true myths and false myths. A false myth is a rigid, reductionist model with no pores or openings to allow in data that could risk jeopardizing the story. Propaganda is of this type. It depicts the enemy as wholly monstrous and "our" behavior as embodying only the noblest and highest ideals. Propaganda may have its uses in wartime, but if it gets taken seriously by a people it becomes a dangerous delusion. What, then, is a true myth? This is less easy to define because we are dealing here not with some single quiddity but with degrees of openness and balance. We can hazard this much: a true myth is a schema with enough complexity and "thickness" to accommodate a very broad range of facts, including ugly facts. A true mythical narrative "saves the appearances" by showing how the bad deeds of the people, not just the good, fit into the story." (McKenna, 2007, pp. 13-14)

I think this fits in well with the writing of a qualitative piece. :)

McKenna, G. (2007). The puritan origins of American patriotism. New Haven & London: Yale University Press.

Sunday, June 1, 2014

A respectable piece of work

"What does "ownership" of your writing mean? It means that your writing belongs, for better or worse, to you, and you alone. If you screw up your courage to write, it is essential that your ownership of that writing be respected by your audience - of one or a thousand. Not necessarily agreed with, but respected. Your committee members can decide whether your body of writing constitutes an acceptable dissertation; a publisher or journal editor will decide whether it will reach a wider audience; any reader can like your writing or not, agree with it or not, understand it or not. But it is still yours. You get to decide what you're going to say, how you're going to say it, whom you're going to allow to read it. Other people own their responses to it, but you own the writing." (p. 17)

Okay. My goal is to produce a "respectable" piece of work. And it belongs to me fully. :) Something wonderful happened last Friday! I completed a draft of a journal article for my boss and I submited a draft of a conference paper to the conference administrator. What this technically means is that from today, 1st of June 2014 onwards, I can sort of convert the time I have spent writing articles, to writing of my thesis! :D (Of course, I have other tasks to do alongside this, but at least I can devote part of my time to thesis writing now!) I have put thesis-writing on hold for a couple of months because of the writing and editing of those papers. But you know, as a result of doing those papers, I felt clearer about my research questions.

Just to share... It used to be:

a) How do teachers understand patriotism?
b) How do teachers teach patriotism?

But I want to change them to:

a) How do teachers understand patriotism and teach it?
b) How do teachers perceive the relationship between patriotism and citizenship?
c) How do teachers negotiate the tensions between patriotism and critical thinking?

I'm thinking of approaching the thesis in this tripartite format.  Meaning to have three sections to my literature review. And possibly a chapter each for the findings. And then close it up with discussion and conclusion.

I don't care where this thesis takes me, at the very least, I want to produce a piece of work that will be a joy for both my supervisor and my examiners to read. I am promised at least them as my audience. And they are important to me. So I am going to do my best! :)

Bolker, Joan (1998) Writing your dissertation in fifteen minutes a day: A guide to starting, revising, and finishing your doctoral thesis. New York: Holt

Sample dedication page

"Writing is 1% vision and 99% revision."

Thesis is dedicated to the graduate students in Alfredo's graduate group who more than having courage and perseverance, have kindness and patience and have supported this work to its completion. :)

Tuesday, May 20, 2014

How to write a thesis

What a shame that gems like the following are hidden behind book titles that give no hint to what treasures are found within! :) I must start writing my thesis soon. I'm currently editing two papers. But I am so inspired after reading the following to start drafting the thesis soon. It's a noble task of writing training and producing of something worthwhile.

"You would be wise to begin writing your thesis long before it is due. In fact, when a particular set of experiments or some major facet of your work has been completed, you should write it up while it is still fresh in your mind. If you save everything until the end, you may find that you have forgotten important details. Worse, you may find that you lack time to do a proper writing job. If you have not done much writing before, you might be amazed at what a painful and time-consuming process it is. You are likely to need a total of three months to write the thesis, on a relatively full-time basis. You will not have full time, however, nor can you count on the ready availability of your thesis advisor. Allow at least six months.
...
Perhaps you noticed that we said "drafting," not "writing." Much to the surprise of some graduate students, a good thesis is likely to require multiple drafts. Some graduate students think that once the last word leaves the keyboard, the thesis is ready to turn in. However, for theses as for journal articles, considerable revision commonly is needed for the piece to achieve its potential. Indeed, using feedback from one's graduate committee to strengthen the content, organization, and wording of one's thesis can be an important part of one's graduate education. Be prepared to need more time than expected to put your thesis in final form. Both in terms of the quality of the product and in terms of learning obtained that can aid in your future writing, the time is likely to be well spent.
...
Remember, your thesis will bear only your name. Theses are normally copyrighted in the name of the author. The quality of your thesis and of any related publications in the primary literature probably affect your early reputation and your job prospects. A tightly written, coherent thesis will get you off to a good start. An overblown encyclopedia of minutiae will do you no credit. The writers of good theses try hard to avoid the verbose, the tedious, and the trivial... Writing a thesis is not a hurdle to overcome before starting your scientific career. Rather, it is a beginning step in your career and a foundation for your later writing. Prepare your thesis carefully, and use the experience as a chance to refine your writing skills. The resulting document and abilities will then serve you well." (pp. 230-231)

Day, R. A. and Gastel, B.  (2011) How to write and publish a scientific paper. 7th ed. Santa Barbara: Greenwood

Sunday, May 18, 2014

Discovery of old books

One of my secret joys is stumbling upon the odd old book in the library. This book was published the year my Father was born in 1953, still reeking of deep post-WW2 reflections, fresh from that era. :) And surprisingly, the forward is interesting and relevant to what I'm writing. I think it's stumbling across these books and the ideas of these men that spice up this writing journey! I always hope I can quote from them or use their words to garnish my works, so that I can bring back to life lost messages from the past!
 
"The impact of events consequent to the Second World War has left the peoples of the Western countries seething with unrest but with a new wine of idealism which has found expression in a fierce devotion to freedom and democracy in direct conflict with the totalitarian Soviet state. Religion of the free countries, especially Christianity, has engaged in open ideological warfare with the atheism found behind the iron curtain.

In a period of drastic change in social organization, such as has been prevalent in the United States for two decades, a parallel can be found with the days of the French Revolution during which social confusion followed a rapid departure from traditional religion and temporary moral chaos ensued. Acceleration of change, free-thinking, emphasis on rights rather than responsibilities, material prosperity - these and other characteristics of our period have resulted in weakening the cords of a common faith to which adherence had been given and, in turn, have weakened character.

True, the churches in the United States now claim the largest proportionate membership in their history, and there is much idealism. But there is a growing tendency for man to regard himself as the measure of all things, self-sufficient, and the arbiter of his own destiny. The current philosophy has resulted in intense activity, but activity often undirected or misdirected - activity which is aimless, pointless, and spiritless. Ours is said to be an age of secularism, scientism and over-intellectualism.

Ultimate values have been discharged. In the confusion there is found a spirit of neutralism in teaching, in which the teacher deems it his obligation to present all views about vital questions, without himself leaning toward any solution, the student being left to draw his own conclusion on the basis of the objective facts presented. From this situation critics assert that life is losing its quality, that it is concerned with quantity of information without interpretation, that undigested knowledge lacks unity and direction and results in superficiality.

A recent survey indicates that college students are moved by concepts of expediency rather than definite concepts of right and wrong. In a desire to meet immediate problems there has been abandonment of fundamental knowledge of social and historical foundations, as for example in many social-studies courses, which have become merely glorified current-events courses occupied primarily with the present. A university president has declared that colleges should not be concerned with developing the student's character, this having been assumed as fixed before entrance upon his higher studies. So it is claimed education lacks direction and significance. Rudderless, it resembles a raft bobbing about uncontrolled on a stormy sea, rather than a ship piloted to its destination.

In modern education much is made of change and flexibility, less of stability. In the thinking of undergraduates social rebellion has greater value than social conformity. Freedom is the watchword; control, indoctrination, are decried. Current intellectualism finds little place for emotional elements in living,this being thought unworthy of the scholar.

Historically, extremes of social attitudes tend to follow one another. Rigorous control follows unbridled freedom; social control succeeds excessive individualism; periods of rapid change and relative stability alternate; variety and flexibility replace hardened customs. So it is with character education. A period of intellectualism is now being questioned and the pendulum swings in the direction of discovery, of interpretation, and of significance in life." (pp. iii-v)

E. I. F. Williams, Editor, Kappa Delta Pi Publications, Editorial introduction for "Character Building and Higher Education" by Ordway Tead, New York: The MacMillan Company, 1953

Wednesday, May 14, 2014

Back to the drawing board

This term just keeps coming back to me. I'm not sure how you guys write. Perhaps it's a rather logical flow: you begin with an idea in mind, you write your introduction, conceptual framework, literature review, do your analysis, discuss the findings and conclude.

But what I find myself doing is that I get stuck often at the analysis part and I realize that my conceptual framework is not sufficient to contain the concepts that are emerging in the data, so I have to search for more literature to extend the conceptual framework.

But somehow through this process, I believe the text will get richer.

Jiayou Shuyi there!

Tuesday, May 6, 2014

The literature review

"The review of related literature involves the systematic identification, location, and analysis of material related to the research problem... A key objective of the literature review is to provide a clear and balanced picture of current leading concepts, theories, and data relevant to your topic or subject of study. The material, although consisting of what has been searched, located, obtained, and read, is not merely a simplistic summative description of the contents of articles and books, nor is it a series of isolated summaries of previous studies. Your readers are being asked to view this literature review as representing the sum of the current knowledge on the topic, as well as your ability to think critically about it.

Areas of inquiry within disciplines exist as ongoing conversations among authors and theorists. By way of your literature review, you join the conversation - first by listening to what is being said and then by formulating a comment designed to advance the dialogue. The literature review thus involves locating and assimilating what is already known and then entering the conservation from a critical and creative standpoint. As Torraco (2005) defines it, "The integrative literature review is a form of research that reviews, critiques, and synthesizes representative literature on a topic in an integrated way such that new frameworks and perspectives on the topic are generated" (p. 356). Ultimately, your review "tells a story" by critically analyzing the literature and arriving at specific conclusions about it." (p. 74)

Bloomberg, L. D., & Volpe, M. Completing your qualitative dissertation: A road map from beginning to end (2 ed.). Los Angeles: SAGE Publications, Inc.

Monday, May 5, 2014

Introduction = context, problem, purpose, research questions

"The first chapter of your dissertation is the most critical, and everything that follows hinges on how well this first chapter is constructed. Chapter 1 of your dissertation begins with the context, which introduces the research by providing the background that sets the stage for the problem to be investigated. Once you have identified a sound, researchable problem, the next step is to describe the purpose of the research - that is, how you will go about addressing the problem. To carry out the purpose, three to five research questions are developed that, when answered, will shed light on the problem you have identified. Therefore, the problem, purpose, and research questions are the building blocks - the very core - of your study; they are intrinsically tied together and the basis from which everything else develops.

... The first chapter of the dissertation is about defining what is to be studied and why it is worth studying." (pp. 60-61)

Bloomberg, L. D., & Volpe, M. Completing your qualitative dissertation: A road map from beginning to end (2 ed.). Los Angeles: SAGE Publications, Inc.

Tuesday, April 29, 2014

The importance of not concluding too quickly

With time I appreciate the feedback given by my examiners more and more. Initially it made me uncomfortable because people disagreed with my way of thinking and it meant I had a lot of re-thinking and re-writing to do. But today, I see that if not for their words pointing me to works done by other authors who show alternative perspectives to the ones I was pursuing, I would have been kept in the dark how restrictive and limited my own views were.

When I was reading the works of some scholars on critical thinking, I was amazed and wowed by them and very quickly incorporated what they had said and done into my thesis. But today, I have read a rebuttal to these points of view.

Getting faster now...

I'm very happy! I think I'm getting it. Remember I told you that I struggled greatly to write a proper paper with a conceptual framework and all about a month ago. I basically did my analysis independent of the conceptual framework. And so I realized I needed the framework first, so I struggled, I did so many sketches of the potential framework, and then I reframed my analysis based on it. And after that, one more time I shaped the framework to match the analysis. That was a lot of hard work.

I'm writing another conference paper now. And I just did a draft structure of the paper. I'm happy because what previously took me so much headache and re-drafting and drafting, I managed to come up with it in a much shorter time today! :)

Let me show it to you:



I love structuring things before I write.

Thank God for this miracle. I hope I can write a good conference paper and get it published! :D

Writing

I like to write.

It is difficult to write.

But there is such a joy when I see ideas that flounder in my mind, take on a structure, and find resonance on paper. It's like getting a load off your chest and capturing it succinctly in text. :)

Yes! Writing is that indescribable joy of having a heavy burden lifted off you and onto a piece of paper.

Tuesday, April 22, 2014

Components of the discussion

"1. Try to present the principles, relationships, and generalizations shown by the results. And bear in mind, in a good discussion, you discuss - you do not recapitulate - the results.
2. Point out any exceptions or any lack of correlation and define unsettled points. Never take the high-risk alternative of trying to cover up or fudge data that do not quite fit.
3. Show how your results and interpretations agree (or contrast) with previously published work.
4. Don't be shy; discuss the theoretical implications of your work, as well as any possible practical applications.
5. State your conclusions as clearly as possible.
6. Summarize your evidence for each conclusion. Or, as the wise old scientist will tell you, "Never assume anything except a 4 percent mortgage.

...

In showing the relationship among observed facts, you do not need to reach cosmic conclusions. Seldom will you be able to illuminate the whole truth; more often, the best you can do is shine a spotlight on one area of truth. Your one area of truth can be illuminated by your data... so exhibit your little piece of the mirror, or shine a spotlight on one area of the truth..."

Day, R. A. and Gastel, B. How to write an publish a scientific paper, Santa Barbara, California: Greenwood, 7th edition, pp. 72-75

Sunday, April 20, 2014

crossing bridges

I think one of the blessings of coming from the Science field and stepping into a Social Science world is the comfort I have in seeking wisdom from other disciplines. I don't see the need to restrict myself to wisdom from one discipline, but by having crossed that one bridge, I now find myself free to cross all other bridges. I noticed this because my friend had recommended me a book on writing and publishing scientific papers. I embraced the book with joy because once again I was able to read text that is written so succinctly and directly. And I looked forward to integrating what I can learn from that book to what I'm writing now.

Friday, April 11, 2014

Conceptual Framework

I just learned how important the conceptual framework is. I wrote a paper in its absence and my boss told me that the paper made no sense in its absence. 

What's a conceptual framework? Is it my literature review? Is it an outcome of the literature review?

To continue with the story about my thesis. I wrote a literature review draft, it was examined during the confirmation exercise and found to be a bit too restrictive. I went back and redid my literature review by reading a lot more literature and then I got stuck. 

So I have two unsatisfactory literature reviews and I didn't know which one was my conceptual framework. 

To make matters worse, by this time I had already collected all my data. Yes, I can go back and collect and half of them I collected with cognizant of what I found from the new literature review. But certain things I cannot change. Like my choice of site and sample. 

So what I did was to integrate the two unsatisfactory literature review, with knowledge of my collected data, and come up with a new literature review. It involved discarding some ideas I initially had but on hindsight seemed less crucial. This incorporation of my rudimentary analysis of the data to guide my conceptual framing, I believe is called ground up. Wow! 

So I'm still at this process. I'm watching the conceptual framework morph. It's painful. Because every time I write something, I do it with some pride and hope of permanence. But the research process is changing the way I see my writing. I have to accept that I will go through this rewriting many times. I also write with a great sense of dissatisfaction. And hence, rewriting is a chance to make what I have more to the point, more thoughtful and coherent. But it does change the way I think. I have never written so much about the same thing before. 

It's a difficult and painful process. But it's teaching me a lot. So I want to thank God. For giving me ideas but more importantly grace and perseverance to continue through the chaos. I hope to see the light and clarity one day!

Wednesday, April 9, 2014

塞翁失马 焉知非福

Today, I learn not to be happy too fast too soon. Hmmm... Having ideas and writing fast, does not mean they translate into good works. So it's always good to be skeptical of all works, especially your own.

Monday, April 7, 2014

It came into him, life; it went out of him, truth.

"The theory of books is noble. The scholar of the first age received into him the world around; brooded thereon; gave it the new arrangement of his own mind, and uttered it again. It came into him, life; it went out of him, truth. It came to him, short-lived actions; it went out from him, immortal thoughts. It came to him, business; it went from him, poetry. It was dead fact; now, it is quick thought. It can stand, and it can go. It now endures, it now flies, it now inspires. Precisely in proportion to the depth of mind from which it issued, so high does it soar, so long does it sing." (pp. 70-71)

- The American scholar by Ralph Waldo Emerson (I feel so lazy to cite it. But I read it in Handbook of Research on Teacher Education: Enduring Questions in Changing Contexts (2008). 3rd Edition)