Monday, January 26, 2015

It's "over"!

I submitted my thesis for examination last Friday [23rd January]. :) A lot of people congratulated me and were truly happy for me. However, perhaps because of the way I timed the writing (having started writing in June 2014), and having gone through many drafts (sort of), the feeling of completion was so so (Sorry to use such a neutral term. I guess you would have expected a more emotional term.). [Imagine if I had done the writing at the last minute, I think I might possibly felt more adrenaline and euphoria after completion.] I just knew I had a few individuals in particular to thank but more importantly, I had to thank God, which I did by attending a Mass and praying to tell Him how thankful I was (not that you need to attend a service to pray and I'm not a Catholic).

I actually look forward to receiving feedback from the examiners, as (as expected) I'm still not quite very happy with what I submitted. It looks structurally alright, it's been copy-edited, but... yes, I think it can be more coherent. But perhaps the strength of it is it is rich, flavourful and deep, because of the strong social science bent I took to present the arguments. I pray the examiners will like what I have written and it would be a piece of writing that will add to their fascination of this world.
 
I'm tired.

Actually, I really am.

I don't feel like working anymore.

Sorry, friends, I know I'm usually less emotional in this blog and more intellectual. But, I guess I need somewhere to release these emotions.

But I'm glad I got it all out on paper. Imagine if you don't complete your thesis, you spent of yourself so much, yet you come away with nothing, no benefit to yourself, no degree, no benefit to the "world" as there's no product for people to read and learn from or critique. That is definitely worse off. So despite how negative I'm feeling now, I thank God for bringing me through this process and seeing it to completion. I kinda knew all along this was a work of grace. Thank You.

Wednesday, January 21, 2015

Where do ideas come from?

I get my ideas from many places. Sometimes, actually many times, from scholarly articles. But many times more easily from unrelated books. Sometimes I chanced upon a sentence from a book, and immediately I get a sense of how I can write a particular idea or topic or thesis according to its structure or the concept. :)

Also from movies. :) I try to watch movies related to my work because it gives me an experience I never had before and I tend to learn better from something I can relate to. 

When I'm looking for something, seeking to understand something, I find it everywhere. It reminded me of a quotation from the Alchemist:

When a person really desires something, all the universe conspires to help that person to realize his dream. (Paulo Coelho)

I t    I think this is one of the ways to keep your your sanity when you're doing graduate study. You cannot get stuck with stale ideas or it quickly becomes a burden. You need fresh ideas from various viewpoints all the time. 

Saturday, January 10, 2015

Dissertation Abstract

Approaching the end. I have not written the summary/abstract of the whole thesis. Spent the morning tidying up the Conclusion.  I hope to get it done by today, as I want it to be ready for proof-reading by supervisor and a professional by Monday. One of the feedback given to me by my supervisor was that I should put in more direct quotations from the interviews in the Findings section. Alas, this aspect I have procrastinated for so long and still have only done in bits and pieces, but looks like I would sacrifice this if I have no time. I already first worked on the more important Conclusion section. Next up, I need to work on the Abstract, which is very important if you read what I typed out below for you.

But as for now, I think I should stop. On my way to church. I guess I should start preparing this heart to be at peace and ready to enter into God's house of prayer, instead of coming in with my thoughts still on my work. I will spend the coming moments thanking God, for His help in provision of many ideas that I could have completed the Conclusion section in the morning. I have been struggling with that for the longest time.
“Too often, writing this brief but important statement is left to the last minute, at which time the author dashes off a hasty synopsis that needs instead to be concise, highly informative, and carefully written. Having to encapsulate one’s major professional preoccupation of the past months – or years – into the inviolable word limit of an abstract for a journal, or of one’s dissertation study for Dissertation Abstracts, can seem like the last straw. Fortunately, it is about the last straw, a signal to celebrate that a major effort is finally nearing completion. As with anything you write, give time and thought to preparing your abstract, review it editorially, try it out on others, and ask someone to read it aloud to you. An abstract affords a valuable opportunity to inform a wide audience, to capture potential readers, and to develop or expand your interactive professional network. Whether others will pursue the reading of your complete text may depend entirely on their assessment of this tiny sample of your writing, including its style. Once again, emphasize problem and content, not fieldwork techniques.”

Writing Up Qualitative Research by Harry Wolcott, 3rd Edition. (p. 134)

Saturday, January 3, 2015

Restructuring

Restructuring is painful and a big risk.

I have this chapter on the context of Singapore and because of the repetition and lack of parallelism, I had been feeling very uncomfortable with it. Even though it's written down and vetted through to be alright with my supervisor.

I decided to take a risk and restructure that chapter today. Because of this move, while difficult, in terms of trying to create a new structure, yet it feels better. It's risky, because while the structure is there, I have yet fill in the gaps and make the whole coherent. I couldn't do that immediately because the restructuring process used up quite a bit of my attention and my brain has maxed out. So I spent 1 day doing that. Is it worth it? I don't know... So there's the risk there...

The last time I did a major restructure was in writing a paper with my supervisor which I submitted on Christmas Day...

Perhaps it's owing to inexperience, or lack of content and methodological knowledge, but yes, I do find myself having to make major changes of what I have written. And it's difficult to do so.

An update... Been stuck on the first few chapters of the thesis. Actually the real problem of the thesis lies in the next sections of Findings/Discussions/Conclusions... I will need to work on them soon!