Ah... It's been about three weeks since I gave some deeper thought to my PhD, thesis, research... What have I been up to? I've been busy with work again.
Yesterday, I gave a Q-Method workshop to my team, because we are going to use Q-Method for our project. I did not have a lot of time to prepare. I only knew one week in advance. And last week was a particularly packed week, stretching me really thin. I was also attending the William Trubridge Dynamic No Fins Workshop. I used pockets of time and tried to max them fully to prepare for the workshop.
Intuitively, I mindmapped what I wanted to cover in the workshop and what information I lacked, and needed to find out in preparation of the workshop. The activities for my participants were easier to prepare because essentially, I wanted them to do a Q-sort and interpret the results.
I did have difficulty with the analysis, as you know, statistics has never been my strength. But I told them that part I cannot explain well and maybe next time, we will all read up on that.
And now that it's over... on hindsight, it was fun preparing for the workshop... Introducing something new and cool to people... Trying to help them see why this method was good...
I think I approached it my own way, choosing resources from what I have previously come across...
You know... I was able to give that workshop because last year I gave it a go. Last year, I conducted a mini study out of the larger study. Did you know that I underwent a lot of stress to conduct that mini study? I have fear of asking favours. And I had to call up many teachers to ask for a favour. I had to design the study, the question, Q set... Learn the analysis... I even flew to New Orleans to attend a workshop, present my "findings" and ended up seeking help to re-analyse my findings. I spent $700 on an online program - Q Assessor to enable participants to do that online sort. I had a short timeline and I had to find the most time efficient manner to conduct and complete the study. I had added anxiety because of other issues as well happening behind the scene.
I must say it wasn't easy living with anxiety. And high anxiety. I don't want to make doing a PhD look ugly. I have had this anxiety issue since I was very young. And it permeates throughout what I do as I grew older. And last year was the year I decided to seek professional help to overcome it and not be controlled by it. I was very proactive. I think that's one thing good about me. I may be very anxious but it doesn't stop me from doing the thing that makes me anxious.
This year, the anxiety problems seems to have reduced in my academic life. I don't know. I wish very much to find my own voice in academia. To care less what others think and really hold my own.
So that's the backstory to how I ended up giving a Q-Method workshop yesterday. If not for that arduous journey, I wouldn't be here. But that journey was nice as well. I made friends in New Orleans, I discovered the Q community, and a fun method to use... Yes, I gasped as well, when I hear myself use the word "fun" on statistics.
So... the journey continues... The multiple changes in my PhD direction means that I wouldn't be using this Q-Method, but I guess I still passed it on. And it doesn't hurt for an academic to be well-versed in a number of techniques?
So... my journey continues!
