Cynicism

Cynicism is an idea that captures me. M recently shared that "cynicism can sometimes be a protective mechanism". Cynics see every government action as a threat. Cynicism short-circuits critical thinking. Cynicism is an attitude that is heavily loaded with negative emotion, whereas critical thinking is more objective.

I recently read from this book:

... Whether this is a correct assessment is debatable, but what is salient is that such notions especially among the young are likely to breed apathy and alienation, which are detrimental for a country's well-being. As the decisions made by governments materially affect all citizens, politics should matter to everyone. Unless people take an active interest in politics and are vigilant, governments can abuse their authority. Cynicism is a weak defence when faced with the ills of politics and can be dysfunctional in the long run (Sridharan, 2008, p. 3).

Wow. Cynicism may be a very human and natural response, but it is not the best response. It is like a person who was cheated by one person and ended up with a conclusion that all people are cheats. Sure, it is a protective mechanism to prevent oneself from being cheated again, but it's not the most helpful action. It would make more sense for the individual to take a step back and see that there are both wicked and kind people and many other types in between, and one may have been cheated once, but it doesn't mean one stops trusting people, but it could mean one should exercise caution and learn how to discern. One doesn't have to close one's heart completely.

Reference
Sridharan, K. (2008) Political science: An introductory text. Singapore: Mc Graw Hill

Writing the literature review

Among the many advice I've seen on writing the literature review, seldom do people remind you about currency. It is actually important that the resources you referred to in the writing of your article/thesis/book are current. I think this is why a book for every generation on the same topic is reasonable and logical. It is why we don't often read out-of-print books and why publishers don't reprint them, because they are meant for an audience from the past and the knowledge which supported those books are no longer as relevant for today's audience.

So I am going to quote from one of my favourite writing books called Writing Literature Reviews by Jose L. Galvan:

When you have finished reading the articles you have collected, you should re-evaluate your entire reference list to ensure that it is complete and up-to-date. A literature review should demonstrate that it represents the latest work done in the subject area. As a rule of thumb, use a 5-year span from the present as a tentative limit of coverage, keeping in mind that you will extend your research further back when it is warranted... However, remember that the reader of a literature review expects that you have reported on the most current research available. Thus, you should make it explicit your reasons for including articles that are not current (e.g., Is it a landmark study? Does it present the only evidence available on a given topic? Does it help you to understand the evolution of a research technique?). (p. 42)

Reference:
Galvan, J. L. (2013). Writing literature reviews: A guide for students of the social and behavioral sciences (5 ed.). California: Pyrczak Publishing.

It's "over"!

I submitted my thesis for examination last Friday [23rd January]. :) A lot of people congratulated me and were truly happy for me. However, perhaps because of the way I timed the writing (having started writing in June 2014), and having gone through many drafts (sort of), the feeling of completion was so so (Sorry to use such a neutral term. I guess you would have expected a more emotional term.). [Imagine if I had done the writing at the last minute, I think I might possibly felt more adrenaline and euphoria after completion.] I just knew I had a few individuals in particular to thank but more importantly, I had to thank God, which I did by attending a Mass and praying to tell Him how thankful I was (not that you need to attend a service to pray and I'm not a Catholic).

I actually look forward to receiving feedback from the examiners, as (as expected) I'm still not quite very happy with what I submitted. It looks structurally alright, it's been copy-edited, but... yes, I think it can be more coherent. But perhaps the strength of it is it is rich, flavourful and deep, because of the strong social science bent I took to present the arguments. I pray the examiners will like what I have written and it would be a piece of writing that will add to their fascination of this world.
 
I'm tired.

Actually, I really am.

I don't feel like working anymore.

Sorry, friends, I know I'm usually less emotional in this blog and more intellectual. But, I guess I need somewhere to release these emotions.

But I'm glad I got it all out on paper. Imagine if you don't complete your thesis, you spent of yourself so much, yet you come away with nothing, no benefit to yourself, no degree, no benefit to the "world" as there's no product for people to read and learn from or critique. That is definitely worse off. So despite how negative I'm feeling now, I thank God for bringing me through this process and seeing it to completion. I kinda knew all along this was a work of grace. Thank You.

Where do ideas come from?

I get my ideas from many places. Sometimes, actually many times, from scholarly articles. But many times more easily from unrelated books. Sometimes I chanced upon a sentence from a book, and immediately I get a sense of how I can write a particular idea or topic or thesis according to its structure or the concept. :)

Also from movies. :) I try to watch movies related to my work because it gives me an experience I never had before and I tend to learn better from something I can relate to. 

When I'm looking for something, seeking to understand something, I find it everywhere. It reminded me of a quotation from the Alchemist:

When a person really desires something, all the universe conspires to help that person to realize his dream. (Paulo Coelho)

I t    I think this is one of the ways to keep your your sanity when you're doing graduate study. You cannot get stuck with stale ideas or it quickly becomes a burden. You need fresh ideas from various viewpoints all the time. 

Dissertation Abstract

Approaching the end. I have not written the summary/abstract of the whole thesis. Spent the morning tidying up the Conclusion.  I hope to get it done by today, as I want it to be ready for proof-reading by supervisor and a professional by Monday. One of the feedback given to me by my supervisor was that I should put in more direct quotations from the interviews in the Findings section. Alas, this aspect I have procrastinated for so long and still have only done in bits and pieces, but looks like I would sacrifice this if I have no time. I already first worked on the more important Conclusion section. Next up, I need to work on the Abstract, which is very important if you read what I typed out below for you.

But as for now, I think I should stop. On my way to church. I guess I should start preparing this heart to be at peace and ready to enter into God's house of prayer, instead of coming in with my thoughts still on my work. I will spend the coming moments thanking God, for His help in provision of many ideas that I could have completed the Conclusion section in the morning. I have been struggling with that for the longest time.

“Too often, writing this brief but important statement is left to the last minute, at which time the author dashes off a hasty synopsis that needs instead to be concise, highly informative, and carefully written. Having to encapsulate one’s major professional preoccupation of the past months – or years – into the inviolable word limit of an abstract for a journal, or of one’s dissertation study for Dissertation Abstracts, can seem like the last straw. Fortunately, it is about the last straw, a signal to celebrate that a major effort is finally nearing completion. As with anything you write, give time and thought to preparing your abstract, review it editorially, try it out on others, and ask someone to read it aloud to you. An abstract affords a valuable opportunity to inform a wide audience, to capture potential readers, and to develop or expand your interactive professional network. Whether others will pursue the reading of your complete text may depend entirely on their assessment of this tiny sample of your writing, including its style. Once again, emphasize problem and content, not fieldwork techniques.”

Writing Up Qualitative Research by Harry Wolcott, 3^rd Edition. (p. 134)

Restructuring

Restructuring is painful and a big risk.

I have this chapter on the context of Singapore and because of the repetition and lack of parallelism, I had been feeling very uncomfortable with it. Even though it's written down and vetted through to be alright with my supervisor.

I decided to take a risk and restructure that chapter today. Because of this move, while difficult, in terms of trying to create a new structure, yet it feels better. It's risky, because while the structure is there, I have yet fill in the gaps and make the whole coherent. I couldn't do that immediately because the restructuring process used up quite a bit of my attention and my brain has maxed out. So I spent 1 day doing that. Is it worth it? I don't know... So there's the risk there...

The last time I did a major restructure was in writing a paper with my supervisor which I submitted on Christmas Day...

Perhaps it's owing to inexperience, or lack of content and methodological knowledge, but yes, I do find myself having to make major changes of what I have written. And it's difficult to do so.

An update... Been stuck on the first few chapters of the thesis. Actually the real problem of the thesis lies in the next sections of Findings/Discussions/Conclusions... I will need to work on them soon!

Editing the thesis

Oh bother. I did not expect it to be so difficult. I'm reading parts of my work which are so incoherent, sound so "ugly" that I feel like puking. That is the chapter on the context of Singapore... and next up, I am going meet with a greater challenge... The methodology section has always been exceptionally difficult for me to justify and write... I really need help from above. I'm no full-time student. I have other work responsibilities to deal with as well. (And while I'm easily distracted, I'm not exactly a good multi-tasker.) And I'm human like all people with humanly responsibilities, like celebrating the New Year, gatherings with family, in my heart, I'm still coveting a little getaway for myself... And yes, in my heart, I'm a workaholic, but I have grown wiser than to neglect the other areas of life, which while relatively hold less appeal to me, actually could mean really more when you weigh things on an eternal scale. (I know, I'm weird. Very few people like working more than playing. But I actually prefer working.)

I guess, here I am.

This is really what Grad School is like.

I've had my moments of fun and glory, but most of the time, it's like swimming against a current.

And you know what. I think I should just pack things up in preparation for tomorrow. And pray.

This is a dire straits situation that requires help from above.