Fear and Greed

I came across an advice from someone to budding scholars about how writing is about overcoming one's fear and getting help from all useful sources.

I actually have a slightly different perspective about the "greed" part.

Indeed, it must have been one of the most frightening experience for me, beginning to step into the shoes of a scholar. I stepped into a vast ocean with no boundaries, with every step I take, opening new leads. How will I know where to start? There is surely that overcoming the fear part.

And then greed takes over. You don't know when to stop. With every step you take opening new leads, you take every lead, wherever they lead. And you kinda stray from your hypothesis or you get lost and no longer know where you're headed. You want everything. You have so much ideas, you can write a few thesis. But there is no depth and no coherence. That is another unpleasant experience, where you find yourself standing on shaky ground.


I was initially surprised at the greed part. It was so real. It was mixed with pride. I felt at the top of the world. I felt powerful, that I had knowledge in my hands. I thought I could do anything and go anywhere.

Thankfully, I have my feet planted right back on the ground. I have no idea where this thesis would lead me. Who knows, I might thread another path after graduation, totally different from whatever I'm studying now. Who knows? God, He knows. And in Him I shall dig my heels firmly into the unshakeable Rock.