Idea Synthesis Day

Tomorrow is the day! Tomorrow is literature synthesis day. I've been reading up on narratives and storytelling and pedagogical content knowledge (PCK) the past two months. Tomorrow is the day I print out the various ideas I've collected and do a manual sorting, organization of these ideas to make a case for my study and I'm pretty excited about it. I think the way things unfolded, how my interest developed told me that the better methodology to use is the case study method rather than narrative inquiry, which can be still used as some sort of lens.

I have been waiting for this day for two months... to be finally able to make some sense out of what I've read. I hope I have read enough to do this. But even if not, this initial analysis would show me where the gaps of my reading are and help me be more directed in my search for the literature.

I've also discovered the German Didaktik through the module I'm taking with Prof. Deng Zongyi, which excites me because this method/model/theory is pretty in line with the kinds of outcomes expected in incidental storytelling in the classroom and it is also sometimes compared to PCK. :) I think when a teacher tells a story, there is a move away from hardcore knowledge transmission to some kind of there's something different for every student to gain. And this... is that potential of storytelling as a tool and also stresses on the autonomy and professionalism of teachers. How cool is that!

Retirement

What do scholars do on their retirement?

"For many men, retirement is, initially at least, a rather painful time. The days can seem very long without a regular work schedule, frequent drinking sessions with colleagues and friends, and regular trips to the golf course. But teachers and scholars are often an exception to the rule. If they no longer teach, they can attend conferences, give speeches, contribute papers, pen reviews and even write books. Many also keep in close touch with former graduate students, since the teacher-student bond is something one can find the whole world over. In this way, academic retirees can also follow new trends, look for new research agendas, and find new problems to ponder over. In fact, they have more time to think than their younger colleagues, who are immersed in administration, committee assignments, teaching, advising, and sometimes buttering up the government officials in control of research funds. Retirees can also, if they wish, free themselves from disciplinary and institutional constraints, and return to projects left undone in the distant past." (p. 165)

Wow, what an intellectual can possibly accomplish on his or her retirement! :)

Reference
Anderson, B. (2016) A life beyond boundaries. London, New York: Verso

Libraries

"In those days libraries were still sacred places. One went into the 'stacks', dusted off the old books one needed to read, treasured their covers, sniffed their bindings, and smiled by their sometimes strange, outdated spellings. Then came the best part, randomly lifting out books on the same shelf out of pure curiosity, and finding the most unexpected things. We were informally trained how to think about sources, how to evaluate them, compare them, dismiss them, enjoy them. Chance was built into the learning process. Surprise too." (Anderson, 2016, p. 196)

I just completed reading Benedict Anderson's very special and moving autobiography. He talked so much about how it was like for him, fieldwork, and university scene over the years, and of a passing era... It felt so sad. There's a longing within me, I wished I had his kind of education, I wish I had an interest in languages, and picked up many, I wish I had access to the minds of people different from me... But... Who I am today and how I came to be... are totally different from Ben's own. I will never be like him.

They say you should only try to be yourself. And maybe I shall be... I was very intrigued by the things I am recently reading. I read another book called Making Stories by Jerome Bruner and he cited people that Ben cited about - great minds of long ago. And in one of my readings, though the article was very poorly written, the author had quoted something from Walter Benjamin, whom Ben was greatly influenced by, so I went to look for a collection of Walter Benjamin's work, and I loved an article inside about storytelling. I looked at the pages the author cited as I held that book in my hand imagining that someone once held a book just like mine in another library in another world, at that particular page 89, stopped, paused and found it quotable.

This is my own way of discovery through "chance" and "surprise", through how one person cites another. And recently, I have been more intrigued by the words of foreigners and a time long past. I don't have any background of these people, but at least I am exposed to a bit of their work and thinking.

Reference
Anderson, B. (2016) A life beyond boundaries. London, New York: Verso

a worm's dream

Perhaps I am the only Ph.D. student (though I doubt it) you'll find who would say I am doing my Ph.D. because my dream is to be a writer. And I have neither the confidence nor the courage to pursue this dream any way else.

The learner as the curriculum-maker

I was recently introduced to this idea in class. Many teachers struggle with the proposition that they could be curriculum makers in the classroom, many preferring to stick rigidly to the curriculum handed down to them by the curriculum specialists. So even more untoward is that idea that you should consider what your students want to learn and give them freedom to decide along with you what to learn.

But, I, having never been a school teacher, and having always, all my life, a learner, think that the learner as a curriculum maker is a wonderful wonderful idea. How sad that for so many years of my life, what I studied was dictated by the authorities, it was based on national interests, instead of my personal interests! How sad, that I spent hours learning things like differentiation and partial fractions (no offense to mathematicians), things they said were important for me, rather than perhaps pursuing something that may have more bearing on my future contribution to society.

Forgive that personal gripe. Today, I may not have a Harvard, Yale, Cambridge, or Oxford curriculum, what gives smart people their status, but what I am in control of is personally designing my own Shuyi-curriculum that fits me. I will buy any book I think I need to enrich my thinking. I will speak to anyone I think can help me achieve my goals. I will decide on my own how my journey will unfold. I will be my own curriculum-maker.

My secret to writing

"Many people who want to write are unconsciously seeking peace, a coming together, an acknowledging of our happiness or an examination of what is broken, hoping to embrace and bring our suffering to wholeness." - Natalie Goldberg, May 2015

Many found it incredible or even wrong when I told them the secret behind my Masters thesis. Yes, it was written to advance knowledge of the field and yes, it hopefully was of some benefit to education and teachers, but mainly, I did it for me. I wrote it to explore an area I was having challenges in my personal life and to bring healing, firstly, to myself.

That area I was struggling with was that of authority. My thesis was also about authority. The authority I was struggling with in my life was church authority - the authority of my thesis was government authority. Every time I wrote about government authority, I was drawing lessons for myself. Every time I drew lessons for myself, I changed the object and the context, and I was writing about government authority. By the time I finished my thesis, I had an answer for the educational world, but also for myself. It was alright to challenge authority, all sorts of authority, even scholarly ones. And I should be afraid of no one.

This experience was powerful. It taught me that by using intuition, abstraction, analogies, and simply the power of making connections, I can write about something I did not have direct experience with. I can draw upon my emotions and knowledge in a personal area of my life and apply it into a professional and academic setting. It taught me that academic work and writing can be a seeking of truth and a journey of healing. It was a powerful experience.

So this time round, I'm going to try something like that with my Ph.D. I hoped to tap on something even more primal, that innate need to tell our stories, and the ability of stories to heal - narrative therapy... But professionally, it will be about pedagogical content knowledge, how the teacher transforms her knowing into a telling, such that students can receive the telling and it becomes their knowing. It's a child-centered and progressive way of education, provoking students to think, because stories can yield rich meanings, both for the teacher and her students. And for me. :)

"Pay yourself first."

The daily investment of time is also crucial. Although he saw patients all day, Freud spent a couple of  hours writing each night. In an academic world whose demands keep your nose to the grindstone, your shoulder to the wheel, and your ear to the ground, it is difficult to climb that research ladder of success. Consider an old investment principle: Pay yourself first. Just as the first bite from a monthly paycheck should be invested in personal savings, the first (or some) part of each day should be earmarked for research. Remember, how you spend your days is how you spend your life.

Kenneth A. Kiewra (1994)