"Sometimes when someone speaks or writes about something that is very important to him, the words he produces have this striking integration or coherence: he isn't having to plan and work them out one by one. They are all permeated by his meaning. The meanings have been blended at a finer level, integrated more thoroughly. Not merely manipulated by his mind, but, rather, sifted through his entire self. In such writing you don't feel mechanical cranking, you don't hear the gears change. When there are transitions they are smooth, natural, organic. It is as though every word is permeated by the meaning of the whole (like a hologram in which each part contains faintly the whole)." (Elbow, 1998, pp. 8-9)
Elbow, P. (1998). Writing without teachers. New York: Oxford University Press
Wednesday, October 4, 2017
Thursday, September 28, 2017
American Patriotism
"Foreign observers have long noted the distinctiveness of American patriotism. What impresses them is that, unlike the patriotism of the Old World, it is not tied to blood or soil but is a dynamic blend of Judeo-Christianity and political liberalism. In France and other countries, Alexis de Tocqueville wrote, there were "two distinct elements" that were always at odds with one another, but the Americans "have succeeded in incorporating to some extent one with the other and combining admirably. I refer to the spirit of religion and the spirit of liberty". (McKenna, 2007, p. 5)
McKenna, G. (2007). The puritan origins of American patriotism. New Haven & London: Yale University Press.
McKenna, G. (2007). The puritan origins of American patriotism. New Haven & London: Yale University Press.
Wednesday, September 27, 2017
Writing the Research Proposal
(This is the real reason I am here to blog. The previous post was a surprise. Somehow there was a post inside me bursting to come out. Writing is so special and mysterious in that sense.)
I have been struggling to put together two almost disparate ideas - patriotism and rituals. Yes, they look very related. But every time I write the proposal, they come up that way, as two separate topics requiring two separate research methods. M mentioned that I need to connect them. But I didn't know how. I was uncomfortable with that, but I thought, that's the best I have for now.
Then, two days ago, I attended a Research Proposal Workshop by Dr Anneliese. I am so indebted to her. She helped me with the article I submitted to the practitioner journal. I went up to her after the workshop to thank her for her help and let her know the article would be out soon. And I told her I have changed my PhD topic and told her about patriotism and ritual. And again she said I have to be careful that I'm not doing two separate studies. She gave me an example that it could be that I have to look at both what teachers think and what they actually do. And this can unite the two separate topics.
So I went to bed with this puzzle. How I am going to resolve this puzzle...
There was a construct that I really liked called "nationalistic education". I have always wondered why so few others studied this. Not surprising if you understand the current academic climate. I actually don't fit into the mainstream academic tradition that I "grew up" with. That for another day. Just to give a clue, I am fascinated by emotions, rituals, all things spiritual... And when I woke up and got out of bed, nationalistic education was in my mind.
I did a mindmap to capture some ideas I had. Nationalistic education will be the umbrella under which I would place patriotism and commemorative events. I will think twice about making ritual a key concept of my study also... So I wrote... That it is important to study nationalistic education, because so much of our education involves stuff like flag-raising etc, yet the topic is so controversial... Why so controversial? There is no consensus on what patriotism is... and how to cultivate it... So we need to explore how teachers think of patriotism and also look at how they use commemorative events to instill it.
YES! So for now, there is some coherence.
Can you see the changing face of my research proposal?
I'm going to sound crazy but the PhD is fun because of how things change like this... It's changing to become more coherent. :)
Still using two methods but at least now there is some coherence above the methods level...
I have been struggling to put together two almost disparate ideas - patriotism and rituals. Yes, they look very related. But every time I write the proposal, they come up that way, as two separate topics requiring two separate research methods. M mentioned that I need to connect them. But I didn't know how. I was uncomfortable with that, but I thought, that's the best I have for now.
Then, two days ago, I attended a Research Proposal Workshop by Dr Anneliese. I am so indebted to her. She helped me with the article I submitted to the practitioner journal. I went up to her after the workshop to thank her for her help and let her know the article would be out soon. And I told her I have changed my PhD topic and told her about patriotism and ritual. And again she said I have to be careful that I'm not doing two separate studies. She gave me an example that it could be that I have to look at both what teachers think and what they actually do. And this can unite the two separate topics.
So I went to bed with this puzzle. How I am going to resolve this puzzle...
There was a construct that I really liked called "nationalistic education". I have always wondered why so few others studied this. Not surprising if you understand the current academic climate. I actually don't fit into the mainstream academic tradition that I "grew up" with. That for another day. Just to give a clue, I am fascinated by emotions, rituals, all things spiritual... And when I woke up and got out of bed, nationalistic education was in my mind.
I did a mindmap to capture some ideas I had. Nationalistic education will be the umbrella under which I would place patriotism and commemorative events. I will think twice about making ritual a key concept of my study also... So I wrote... That it is important to study nationalistic education, because so much of our education involves stuff like flag-raising etc, yet the topic is so controversial... Why so controversial? There is no consensus on what patriotism is... and how to cultivate it... So we need to explore how teachers think of patriotism and also look at how they use commemorative events to instill it.
YES! So for now, there is some coherence.
Can you see the changing face of my research proposal?
I'm going to sound crazy but the PhD is fun because of how things change like this... It's changing to become more coherent. :)
Still using two methods but at least now there is some coherence above the methods level...
An Update
I have not updated this blog in more than a month. So what has been happening to me? Sometime ago and repeatedly thereafter, I made myself promise myself that I will not be a depressed PhD nerd-geek. I will not be one whose life revolves around the PhD. I want to have a life outside of PhD, I want to have hobbies, friends, to travel... I want to be a cool PhD student, or even one who says she does a PhD as an afterthought.
Why?
I consider myself a mature student. Many people jump into their PhD right after their undergraduate studies and they have had little exposure to the outside world. Not that I have much, having only worked in a university all my life, but I feel that I cannot begin my graduate studies with that idealistic view that I'm doing something wonderful and proud and I'm going to devote my all to it during this five years. No, I know that I may not find an academic position when I come out, I know that having a PhD as an accomplishment helps you look smart, but it doesn't mean you're smart, I know that my health (emotional, spiritual, physical, mental) is more dear to me and I am willing to give up any activities or loves that threaten it.
Gosh, what a strange post. I didn't come here thinking I would write about this, frankly.
But yes, so I have been doing some freediving the past month or so. :)
And I pulled myself back to work on my Research Proposal.
During the break, I wrote an article for a practitioner journal. Two days ago, I told my friend about it, and I said, "I've taken so much from teachers, I'm grateful I finally have a chance to give back."
I will be conducting a workshop end October on Academic Publishing and Writing. I was excited about this because from April to June 2017, I did a diploma in TESOL. I am prepared that if I don't get an academic position, or if I do get it, I will be ready to teach. But when I was given this chance to do a workshop... something in my heart leaped for joy. I was thinking that I can apply what I learned in the TESOL course to engage my audience.
Okay, how did I get these opportunities? I want to share with you... I simply asked for them. I am not someone who is thick skin, but I got a few chances to just ask. I asked the editor of the online journal whether they were interested in a paper I have in mind, and they said yes. I told the Grad Center that I was interested to share some of my experiences with writing and publishing with other students, and they gave me that opportunity.
Why am I asking and doing all these?
Because sometime ago, I realized I need to chart my own career path. I cannot just do my PhD. It will not only bore me to death, it alone is not sufficient to open doors and possibilities for myself now, and my future later.
Gosh, where are all these words coming from. I'm so talkative today. Maybe I should stop here.
Why?
I consider myself a mature student. Many people jump into their PhD right after their undergraduate studies and they have had little exposure to the outside world. Not that I have much, having only worked in a university all my life, but I feel that I cannot begin my graduate studies with that idealistic view that I'm doing something wonderful and proud and I'm going to devote my all to it during this five years. No, I know that I may not find an academic position when I come out, I know that having a PhD as an accomplishment helps you look smart, but it doesn't mean you're smart, I know that my health (emotional, spiritual, physical, mental) is more dear to me and I am willing to give up any activities or loves that threaten it.
Gosh, what a strange post. I didn't come here thinking I would write about this, frankly.
But yes, so I have been doing some freediving the past month or so. :)
And I pulled myself back to work on my Research Proposal.
During the break, I wrote an article for a practitioner journal. Two days ago, I told my friend about it, and I said, "I've taken so much from teachers, I'm grateful I finally have a chance to give back."
I will be conducting a workshop end October on Academic Publishing and Writing. I was excited about this because from April to June 2017, I did a diploma in TESOL. I am prepared that if I don't get an academic position, or if I do get it, I will be ready to teach. But when I was given this chance to do a workshop... something in my heart leaped for joy. I was thinking that I can apply what I learned in the TESOL course to engage my audience.
Okay, how did I get these opportunities? I want to share with you... I simply asked for them. I am not someone who is thick skin, but I got a few chances to just ask. I asked the editor of the online journal whether they were interested in a paper I have in mind, and they said yes. I told the Grad Center that I was interested to share some of my experiences with writing and publishing with other students, and they gave me that opportunity.
Why am I asking and doing all these?
Because sometime ago, I realized I need to chart my own career path. I cannot just do my PhD. It will not only bore me to death, it alone is not sufficient to open doors and possibilities for myself now, and my future later.
Gosh, where are all these words coming from. I'm so talkative today. Maybe I should stop here.
Thursday, August 17, 2017
'I would only write a letter of complain..."
My friend recently asked me why did I write a letter to the Forum? I was a bit taken aback by that comment. I asked, 'Do you disagree with it? Was it very poorly written?' 'No,' she said, she had not read it yet, just wondering why would anyone bother with writing something unless one had been very upset about it.
My favourite kinds of writing are not letters of complaints, but letters of praise.
So often, when I write, especially when something suddenly makes sense to me, like a few separate things I've read and pondered about suddenly come together to create something new, I get a sense of goosebumps on my back and a shaking of my spirit.
It sounds crazy, but that's a very sacred moment for me. When I get it, I come here, I blog, or I just stop a moment and thank God.
It's almost transcendental. It's a feeling that starts from the brain and goes all the way down the spine. And it fills me with feelings of gratitude.
Just now, I got it. I was reading up about the ritual act of raising the flag. It is something so integral to the understanding of patriotism, but so easily dismissed and overlooked by many people. What's the big deal with the flag and symbols and rituals. We have so underestimated their significance and power, and that feeling of love and pride and sense of awe and greatness that is captured in them when they are periodically used for purposes that lift our spirits to a level beyond the common and day-to-day.
Suddenly, I feel so grateful, so grateful I am studying the topic that I am studying.
My favourite kinds of writing are not letters of complaints, but letters of praise.
So often, when I write, especially when something suddenly makes sense to me, like a few separate things I've read and pondered about suddenly come together to create something new, I get a sense of goosebumps on my back and a shaking of my spirit.
It sounds crazy, but that's a very sacred moment for me. When I get it, I come here, I blog, or I just stop a moment and thank God.
It's almost transcendental. It's a feeling that starts from the brain and goes all the way down the spine. And it fills me with feelings of gratitude.
Just now, I got it. I was reading up about the ritual act of raising the flag. It is something so integral to the understanding of patriotism, but so easily dismissed and overlooked by many people. What's the big deal with the flag and symbols and rituals. We have so underestimated their significance and power, and that feeling of love and pride and sense of awe and greatness that is captured in them when they are periodically used for purposes that lift our spirits to a level beyond the common and day-to-day.
Suddenly, I feel so grateful, so grateful I am studying the topic that I am studying.
Wednesday, August 16, 2017
New concept (ritual) vs old concept (story)
As you may have already been told, I recently changed my PhD thesis topic, after nearly quitting it. I changed it from "story" to something along the lines of "ritual".
I am reading up on ritual now and wondering what is it about rituals that appeal to me more than story? I think the answer lies in my personal make up.
Stories and storytelling is a very verbal act that involves a lot of talk, it is a way of talking, persuading, influencing, tickling, shocking... And I am actually someone of few words (not online, but yes, in person). Stories happen in person, off-the-cuff, spontaneously a lot of the times.
Now, rituals have a stronger element of "doing", it's often accompanied by "saying" but predominantly it is a performance and action. This, kinda fits who I am as a person better. A woman of few words but much action. It is about tradition and symbols, about embodying a message, changing insidiously, infecting transcendentally... It's almost magical, or to use a more academic word, numinous.
That... excites me. It's about things we find hard to fathom and describe... Why is it that seeing the flag rise as the national anthem is sounded when Joseph Schooling takes first place and three others take second, makes some of us feel goosebumps or the rising of the hairs on our backs? What is that magical feeling? Where did it come from?
Gosh... This feeling is also felt in the church, especially with the awe-inspiring architecture from ancient days and majestic music from the pipe organ and the pews all facing the front and stained glass windows... Plus the rituals of candle lighting, bowing before Christ, and the cross signal across the heart... They cause people to feel something.
That I feel is what made me more excited about the current topic that the previous... :)
I am reading up on ritual now and wondering what is it about rituals that appeal to me more than story? I think the answer lies in my personal make up.
Stories and storytelling is a very verbal act that involves a lot of talk, it is a way of talking, persuading, influencing, tickling, shocking... And I am actually someone of few words (not online, but yes, in person). Stories happen in person, off-the-cuff, spontaneously a lot of the times.
Now, rituals have a stronger element of "doing", it's often accompanied by "saying" but predominantly it is a performance and action. This, kinda fits who I am as a person better. A woman of few words but much action. It is about tradition and symbols, about embodying a message, changing insidiously, infecting transcendentally... It's almost magical, or to use a more academic word, numinous.
That... excites me. It's about things we find hard to fathom and describe... Why is it that seeing the flag rise as the national anthem is sounded when Joseph Schooling takes first place and three others take second, makes some of us feel goosebumps or the rising of the hairs on our backs? What is that magical feeling? Where did it come from?
Gosh... This feeling is also felt in the church, especially with the awe-inspiring architecture from ancient days and majestic music from the pipe organ and the pews all facing the front and stained glass windows... Plus the rituals of candle lighting, bowing before Christ, and the cross signal across the heart... They cause people to feel something.
That I feel is what made me more excited about the current topic that the previous... :)
Monday, August 14, 2017
Doing a PhD is like exploring a jungle
I am at the beginning stages of the PhD right now. I am reading here and there, trying to get a sense of the territory. I feel like I just arrived on an island and there's this big jungle before me. As I slowly walk into the jungle, I am seeing a little plant here, a little rock there, and it is only sufficient for me to make a mark on my blank sheet of paper. But my goal is to create a map of the whole place.
So I have been making tiny marks, little scratches on my paper, but I still have little idea what this jungle is like. There are some parts that I know better than other, but most of the island and jungle remain unknown to me.
So this is how it feels like...
I'm doing my best to read up as much as I can, whatever others who have come before me have recorded about islands and jungles in general and particular that I think are similar to the one I'm on, hoping it can shed some clue on my particular island and give me some guidance which paths to take down the jungle.
So this is what stage I'm in now...
Making little scratches on my notebook so that later on I can put them all together into some sort of a research proposal, before I go ahead and conduct my research.
So I have been making tiny marks, little scratches on my paper, but I still have little idea what this jungle is like. There are some parts that I know better than other, but most of the island and jungle remain unknown to me.
So this is how it feels like...
I'm doing my best to read up as much as I can, whatever others who have come before me have recorded about islands and jungles in general and particular that I think are similar to the one I'm on, hoping it can shed some clue on my particular island and give me some guidance which paths to take down the jungle.
So this is what stage I'm in now...
Making little scratches on my notebook so that later on I can put them all together into some sort of a research proposal, before I go ahead and conduct my research.
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