"Is it possible that chemical carcinogens, in general, do not cause cancer unless the nutritional conditions are "right"? Is it possible that, for much of our lives, we are being exposed to small amounts of cancer-causing chemicals, but cancer does not occur unless we consume foods that promote and nurture tumor development? Can we control cancer through nutrition?"

-p. 59

Inspiring New Book

I have not been writing much recently... I think perhaps not thinking much as well... The previous thing that really got my attention was when I was freediving and working on equalization. I became so excited as I discovered knowledge that did not exist before... And I wanted to contribute to it. I felt so wonderful everything I discovered something that goes against existing knowledge. People said it cannot be done, and I found out, it can be done. People said it must be done this way, but I found so many other ways to do it.

But things quieten down after awhile... I stopped reading, thinking, writing, doing... Life became a bit overwhelming as I exceeded my limits in terms of my own capacity to cope with life, with relationship...

I have some small gains recently... You know one of the most painful things in life is dealing with your own trauma or those trauma of others... This morning I had this thought while cycling to work... How much of our trauma becomes our own personality? And how much can we decide to overcome our trauma and craft out a higher personality that is not triggered or restricted by what is needed to avoid being traumatized.

I believe, at least for me, that my life path is much directed by avoiding my trauma; I took paths where I could feel more at peace with myself and the world, and meant choosing what made me feel good and avoiding what made me feel bad... But lately, I am starting to think... What if I faced what made me feel bad and challenged it such that I stopped avoiding what makes me feel bad. Would it develop my personality in a new way? 

Those thoughts aside... I am going to write a paragraph from the acknowledgement of a book. For those who really really know me, I get most excited at things like this... Here it goes by T. Colin Campbell from The China Study:

"I must also credit my colleagues who have worked to discredit my ideas and, not infrequently, me personally. They inspire in a different way. They compel me to ask why there is so much unnecessary hostility to ideas that should be part of the scientific debate. In searching for answers, I have gained a wiser, more unique perspective that I could not have considered otherwise." pg. xii, 2005

That is so admirable that he is not defensive or angry at his critics or the challenges he faces in his life and career, but instead he used that to refine his perspective, to be a better thinker.

I think I need to revive this blog to read, write, and think again. I think one of the things I hold on to and value is the ability to think for myself. It's not a natural ability as I was rarely given this opportunity or the right conditions to do so. Instead, I was also punished for thinking differently with strong voices pushing me towards having the same mind as them.

But now, I want to value my choice and ability to think things out my own way and not be afraid to do so. And not fear when there are strong voices telling me I am naive, stupid, wrong... But instead to use their voices to refine my own thinking and to become a better thinker.

New Job in Hong Kong

Oh, guess what?

I found a job at The Education University of Hong Kong. In my role, I have to facilitate and bring to pass online teaching collaborations between the faculty in my department and those from a university in another country for the benefit of students to give them an opportunity to benefit from "learning abroad while at home".

How to quickly establish knowledge on a field

One of the fastest way to create a mental frame of a new field is to do a literature review. But it is not a passive processing of reading and reading and reading. Instead, while you're reading, you're extracting key information, key findings; and recording them. Give yourself time to immerse yourself into the literature. Pursue threads that interest you. Allow yourself to stop at a sentence or paragraph that makes a lot of sense to you, look at the citation, find it in the reference list and go after that article to find out more.

I record key findings into a table.

Gratitude for a library subscription

 One of the things you may learn to appreciate most about being in a university - whether studying or working - is the library subscription to all the journals. After you are out, you lose access to all the knowledge garnered in the world in their original form. You want to check the accuracy of some research? You have to go right to the source. And for research, the first unadulterated and polished work of researchers is found in the journal article.

I'm back!

I've been so quiet for some time. 

Did you think maybe I have abandoned the path? I stopped wanting to be a researcher or writer or in academia?

Actually, last month, I had the opportunity to help plan a writing retreat for a group of Thai academics. It was the most interesting experience that I am grateful for. 

I was observant about myself during that time about how highly aroused I get from doing a task like that. Instead of using the words "performance anxiety" which probably most people would use to describe the emotions I felt,  I want to use using the words that psychologists used to describe bodily states like mine. Specifically using the circumspect model of affect.

Yes, lately I have began exploring something new. I want to try to come up with a PhD proposal that touches on a topic different from what I used to study. 

It is challenging but I am going to give it a try.

And I am beginning by reading up about this new topic that I am interested in. It is in the intersection of language, emotions, and our body.

"I know there are people who are able to think clearly and run at the same time but I prefer a slower speed. When I walk my thoughts are set free. My blood circulates and, if I choose a faster pace, my body takes in more oxygen. My head clears. If my phone rings while I am sitting down, I like to stand up and pace about as I speak. My memory, concentration and mood improve after only a few steps. 'If you are in a bad mood, go for a walk,' was Hippocrates' advice. And if you are still in a bad mood: 'God for another walk.' The context is reflected in our language. Motion and emotion. Move and moved." (Kagge, 2020, p. 87)

"When we were preparing to go to the North Pole in 1990, we spent a few weeks testing our gear in Iqaluit, a small town in the north-east, in the Canadian Arctic.

It was here that I learned about a valuable Inuit tradition. If you are so angry that you can hardly control your feelings, you are asked to leave your home and to walk in a straight line through the landscape outside until your anger has left you. You then mark the point at which your anger is released with a stick in the snow. In this way, the length, or the strength, of one's rage is measured. The most sensible thing that you can do if you are angry - a condition where our reptilian brain rules our decisions - is to walk for a while away from the object of your anger." (Kagge, 2020, p. 110)

What am I getting at? I was very moved by Lisa Feldman Barrett's idea that emotions are what we describe physical sensations our body experiences, instead of psychological states, if I understand it correctly. It is more physical than psychological. So it means that different people and cultures can interpret and describe the same physical sensations differently, and people can choose to see these physical sensations as physical sensations, rather than label them as "depression" or "anxiety". But the rule is that if you do not give yourself a break after your body has been reacting for some time, eventually you get sick.

You can read more about it here:

https://www.ted.com/talks/lisa_feldman_barrett_cultivating_wisdom_the_power_of_mood?utm_campaign=tedspread&utm_medium=referral&utm_source=tedcomshare

And here:

https://www.theguardian.com/books/2020/sep/25/im-extremely-controversial-the-psychologist-rethinking-human-emotion

I am intrigued with this neuroscience perspective to emotions, because from my own experience with myself, I noticed that emotions are indeed very physical and bodily, and definitely when you do something to your body, it does something to your emotions.

Think about going for a massage or going for a walk or for an adventure or for a freediving session or falling in love. 

I don't know what kind of research project can come up from this but I'm curious if I can craft a research proposal to study something I am uniquely interested in and in a position to ask and answer. I am wondering if I can find a question that I am willing to spend 5 years of study seeking an answer for.

I am going to give it a try. If I can find such a thing, maybe I should do a PhD.

Adulthood is a Great Time to Grow

"Adulthood is a time of growth and change, and learning may be affected by adverse changes—such as unemployment—or positive changes—such as the opportunities to return to study when child-care responsibilities end. Recurrent education can be transformative, a point of departure for a new lifestyle or a new sense of personal identity." - Peter Kennedy