Fear and Greed

I came across an advice from someone to budding scholars about how writing is about overcoming one's fear and getting help from all useful sources.

I actually have a slightly different perspective about the "greed" part.

Indeed, it must have been one of the most frightening experience for me, beginning to step into the shoes of a scholar. I stepped into a vast ocean with no boundaries, with every step I take, opening new leads. How will I know where to start? There is surely that overcoming the fear part.

And then greed takes over. You don't know when to stop. With every step you take opening new leads, you take every lead, wherever they lead. And you kinda stray from your hypothesis or you get lost and no longer know where you're headed. You want everything. You have so much ideas, you can write a few thesis. But there is no depth and no coherence. That is another unpleasant experience, where you find yourself standing on shaky ground.


I was initially surprised at the greed part. It was so real. It was mixed with pride. I felt at the top of the world. I felt powerful, that I had knowledge in my hands. I thought I could do anything and go anywhere.

Thankfully, I have my feet planted right back on the ground. I have no idea where this thesis would lead me. Who knows, I might thread another path after graduation, totally different from whatever I'm studying now. Who knows? God, He knows. And in Him I shall dig my heels firmly into the unshakeable Rock.

Courtroom

Taken from "Research to the Point" by Allan A. Metcalf, the 2nd edition of the book, published by Harcourt Brace & Company in 1995 in Florida, pages 5 and 6.

"Efficient, successful research requires the use of your judgment at every stage. You will understand the necessary attitude if you imagine yourself involved in a courtroom trial. A trial always tests a proposition, a hypothesis: that someone (or something) does or did something. Lawyers bring evidence, and witnesses offer testimony, for and against this hypothesis. The judge considers the evidence, decides for or against the hypothesis, and then writes an opinion, using the evidence to support this decision. When you write a research paper, you are the judge.

In fact, for a research paper you also have to take the part of the lawyer on both sides. You find the evidence and the witnesses and arrange for their testimony. But above all, you are the judge. As a good judge, you will consider all sides of the question. You will also rule digressions out of order and will determine the case as efficiently as possible. Your time is too valuable to waste."

We are now scholars

I remember how I gushed with pride and embarrassment when I gave a correct answer in bible class and my bible teacher told me I was now a "bible scholar". I wonder whether it's an Asian, or even Chinese thing, to reverence scholarship. But here I read a good tip in the book "Complete Your Dissertation or Thesis in Two Semesters or Less" by Evelyn Hunt Ogden published by Rowman & Littlefield Publishers, Inc. in 2007 in Plymouth on pages 54-55 (now I understand why citations and bibliography are done the way they are. Imagining having to type something like this every time you cite something.).

"Remember the university descriptions of dissertations, in which the word scholarly was used? Start to think of yourself as a member of the scholarly community. Calling or e-mailing other scholars can save untold hours of library work and give you confidence concerning another dissertation requirement, establishing credibility of sources.

Build into your budget long-distance phone calls. E-mail ahead of time to ask for a time you might be able to talk to the person. A $100 phone bill can save you a whole semester in costs. It is amazing how helpful most of the top people in the various fields can be. Identify these people in your field, read at least their most recent articles, then e-mail and call them. Find out what they are currently working on that may relate to your topic. Get the names of other graduate students or professors who are working on related research. Check your understanding of how this scholar's theory or work differs from some other noted researchers in the field. Talking with practicing researchers saves time by getting immediately the most recent and relevant findings for inclusion in your literature search chapter. Such direct conversations can help you to further define your topic and/or methodology; it can also be extremely effective in the defense of your proposal and then of the dissertation itself. If asked a question on method or interpretation of another's research, you will be able to respond with, "I talked to Barbara Jones about that, and her view was..." Finally, conversations with people who have devoted years of study to a field is downright interesting and can make dissertation research much more enjoyable.

Consider travel as an extension of the telephone. Sometimes while talking to a scholar you will be told about planned conferences or seminars that will focus on research very relevant to your dissertation topic. Such meetings will bring together several of the people whose work you will be using in your literature search. From your conversation with a particular researcher, you may find that the department in that university or the professor has a library of related published and unpublished research that you can use. Hop on a plane, bus, or train, or drive your car and go. Make a list of what you want to accomplish and who you want to see. Time can be conserved, dissertation quality increased, and in the long run money saved. You have spent thousands of dollars on this degree; don't quibble over a few hundred dollars more. Build into your trip budget funds to possibly take the professor and/or others to lunch or dinner as gesture of thanks for valuable information. Remember you are making important contacts in your field."

Reference
Ogden, E. H. (2007). Complete your dissertation or thesis in two semesters or less. Rowman & Littlefield.

Don't pursue success, let it pursue you

"And so it is both strange and remarkable to me that - among some dozens of books I have authored - precisely this one, which I had intended to be published anonymously so that it could never build up any reputation on the part of the author, did become a success. Again and again I therefore admonish my students both in Europe and in American: "Don't aim at success - the more you aim at it and make it a target, the more you are going to miss it. For success, like happiness, cannot be pursued; it must ensue, and it does so as the unintended side-effect of one's dedication to a cause greater than oneself or as the by-product of one's surrender to a person other than oneself. Happiness must happen, and the same holds for success; you have to let it happen by not caring about it. I want you to listen to what your conscience commands you to do an go on to carry it out to the best of your knowledge. Then you will live to see that in the long run - in the long run, I say! - success will follow you precisely because you had forgotten to think of it."

- Man's Search for Meaning, Viktor Frankl, Beacon Press, Boston, 2006, xiv-xv